Consume

A burning white heat from above.
Did nothing to change your direction.
The day you came to tip the world over.
Feasting on the fragments of my life.
The little memories that get caught in your teeth.
Pick and poke through the gristle of my dreams.
What is here for you to digest?
Which part of me comes upon your silver platter?
I watch as the blood drools from your mouth so sweet.
Fresh from a kiss that left me breathless.
I held my tongue.
Which bled into my heart.
Feeling your fingers on my spine which pulled out each vertebrae.
Held aloft to see the spineless state I am in.
Heaped onto the floor in gesture of subservient decay.
So now pop me in formaldehyde, and watch me distantly up on the shelf.
Just glass and meat.
Eat raw parts of my heart that now struggle to beat.
Sweet delicious demise.

Searching

Look inside a different view.
A world spun on a wavering axis.
Shifting and shaking to a tectonic heartbeat.
Bring a different truth, I’ve heard so many.
Cracked from the ice and the frozen tongues.
Coughed up by devils and delicious ruin.
Was I allowed to change my mind?
Change my religion and make it fly?
Or cloak my thoughts and despairs.
Drown the reasoning in a bath of holy water.
I held my breath.
Waited for the manna to rise.
The milk and honey to seep out of my blood.
Out of my mind.
I caught the world, flying on the wings of a dove.
Into the eye of the storm.
Looking for a home. Looking for a hope.

Unearthed design

These dreams that held you, turned you over in time.
Made you everything but mine.
They smell like morning peonies, precious symphonies align.
You found the bones of a long lost soul, turned up in the tide of your blood.
Washed away in monsoon floods.
Seeing if your veins could fly, coughing dandelions and mud.
Crack this dream like and egg, stitch up the wounds that never heal.
Stretch it over the world.
Pulled into another paradigm.
Live now for those golden days of charm, pulled out deep from the mire.
Throwing us both on the pyre.
Setting your soul on fire.
Then leave all this decay behind.

Tender, the grass of war

A bloody dust covers the eyes of the onlookers.
The voyeurs of life’s sad pageant.
Cattled and rattled they sing the song of war.
A sweet lullaby to mark their intent.
The flag sticks in a body not long departed.
Stretched and lined like the marks of policies.
The bow broke and spilled them into the trenches.
Dirtied their bones and wet the bed.
What care for them as their moon-skulls broke?
Separated out into the dark sea of regret.
Piece by piece we cut away the fabric of life.
Stitched into a patchwork of redesign.
Peace and thoughts maligned.
Meet me in the sandbox, the playground, the gulf.
Help me destroy the things I do not understand.
Recess, regress. God bless this mess.
A boy lost in a man’s disappearing world.

Under this skin

Deeper and deeper to the chalky landscape.
Your hurt falls like acid rain, turning these bones to oil.
It crept within, under the skin while my mind was floating.
Stripped of consequence, dancing the hazy dance of dependency.
Uncertainty melted on this tongue, changed over a million ways.
Adjustment had its day in the sun.
Bringing light to the plants inside me, my veins bloomed in repose.
Tranquilated by the love that now flows in these cells.
Though a shadow swallows me sometimes, dying in the arms of cruel history.
The memories that never leave the house, locked into my story now by synergy.
Selfish and cowardly souls that had been silent for so many years.
They come alight to tell me the problems, throwing words around like maturity and expectation.
I let them fall into unconsciousness.
Breathing life again into this saturated dance we have.
The free-styled trance.
Head back throwing, kissing with the lights on.
You reside within me, forever trapped in stretch marks and signs of change.
Laughing at the growing pains of development and lust.
Shake and rattle down to the core, sucking poison out to turn to ink.
Writing out your hypothesis on my bones.
Healing and interjecting as you make your way to the brain.
Upstairs to take control.
Pump this heart with each fist throw, each lick of my libido.
Wandering hand in hand in the desert of my dreamscapes.
Thanking clarity and oxygen, and how the moon shines in the dark.
I love you more now than I thought I ever could.

Dance into decay

You cut my breath.
Bottled it and threw me to the ground.
Smashed my words to the ceiling.
Watching them collide and rain down like sulphur.
Lost dreams in the broken night’s sky.
Collapsing my lungs and setting fire to this correlation,
of these hearts that were once intertwined.
You place bruises on my eyelids, reminding me of your passion.
Leave me bleeding on the ledge.
Beated the love right out me.
Doing harm, because you can.
Left me stuck inside this circumstance.
Asking for answers in a tongueless mouth.
You laugh at my allergic-ness to loneliness.
And thoughts of a distant future.
Which lesson in love do I learn from?
What thought do you vacate me with?
Leaving a halo around my eye.
Which struck me right in the heart.
A slow dance in decay.

Feast

In the end, you’ll only have an empty space.
An empty stomach, with the love you’ve gone through.
That food for the beast within.
Eaten my heart.
Crunched through the bones as you sit back in blood drool.
My face in your hands as the ghosts evaporate.
What was ever here to protect me?
Retreat. Retreat
But all a wasted turn. Theatrics for my unbelieving mind.
Bone pick, teeth click.
My unicorn beliefs get stuck in your teeth.
This story has been swallowed.
Little to no salvation as you mop up with my soul.
Devoured me then and regret me now.
These shadows, now home to me.

Cor(e)

No air to lift me, no oxygen to breathe.
You punch me in the chest and feel my heartbeat.
Cool hands on this fiery organ.
The skin peels away.
The bones crumble like dust.
Your fist removes the pulsing prize.
Dripping blood and love like a stuck beast.
Squeeze me into submission.
Wrench me further from myself.
Steal my heart and put in under the bell jar.
For all the world to watch.
Yet never to touch.

Skirt your soul

Coughing on the brick dust.
Not complaining.
Just re-arranging.
This sanctuary you’ve housed us in.
Licking the light that shines through the stained teared windows.
You cover me in everything.
You wrap me around you like a piece of string.
Feeling the blood pump through these veins.
Skin on skin. Lips to lips.
With an infinity smile you harken me forward.
Out of this church of our hearts.
The fresh mountain air hits my lungs.
Breathing in the butterfly breath of your exhale.
You tomorrow’s sigh.
Hand gripped and stable. Grounded when I was falling apart.
Steadied my soul.
And when I was letting go, you let me fly.
Soar.

Tangle and vines

I don’t want to go there anymore.
The ivy lattices up my eyes.
And the night is too dark.
Please take this hand.
Side steps the pools and the pitfalls.
These things that never mean to hurt you.
Those beasts in the hedges with eyes so wild.
I’m sorry for what they did.
Trying to squeeze love from you.
This hurt doesn’t change a thing.
Ripped from your flesh and allowed you too tumble.
Falling out of that perfect dream.
Tangled up in the vines that leaked from me.
Spun from the forest of regret.
Sit now, let me lick your wounds by the brook.
Make a splint from broken branches and apologies.
Counting tears like satellites in your eyes.
Taking me away.
Catching reasons like clouds as they float by.
Take this vanishing  hand.
As I depart from the noise and the sorrow.
Departing this earth.
With your smile in my mind.
The only memory I’m keeping

Golden gravity’s pull

My blood made of neon and speckled in gold.
Caught you looking.
Peeking inside my soul.
Come lick the satin from my windowpane.
Come be the reason i’m born again.
Reach inside, run your knuckles up my spine.
Your fingers around my heart.
Tonguing tried history.
Tasting dinosaur blood and DNA.
See me blaze, and watch my rise.
Thread you fingers through the string and come away with me.
Star coated kites in the black velvet sky.

Preserved in time

I heard it crawling over me.
Dragging me down. Pulling me under.
Like every memory I ever heard.
Hard and course like pennies in my skull.
The ships they sail, close in all around.
A plundering armada to sweep me away from you.
To drown me at sea.
Maybe this is how it was meant to be.
Like the lamps lit a lifetime before my soul walked this earth.
Burning away my thread, held taught in the fingers of fate.
I shiver these thoughts out. Stuck in stasis.
Sucking dinosaur blood.
Watching for comets.
Look for me tomorrow, frozen in amber.
Chasing my own tail, dreaming ruby dreams.

Down for the count

Hitting below the belt, is now your signature move.
Nurturing such a disregard for me.
Bruising my inner self, my words that always came up empty.
Spat out with blood and hope.
Your maturity sent me reeling, down to the mat.
Waiting for the bell.
You can tolerate me from afar you say.
Like breaking away from a hug, it leaves me devastated.
Yet I remain. Quiet and composed. Taught to hold my head up high.
Dodging intentional verbal daggers and manufactured truths.
Your truths, your reasoning. Your horse blinders on for style.
Over substance. Over my comfort.
Through this pedestal championing, you shoulder massaging.
Cuts deep the vein of my self-respect.
Making my feel ignorant to your perfect sane mind.
I stutter and slip, tripped up on your words.
Unable to reason or fight fire with fire. Caught in your orbit.
All this time wishing on a star that was merely your own satellite.
Just a poet in your world, trying to chase the undefinable.

Nosebleed

Scarlett lipped and unaware. Tastes of honey.
Tastes like the coins from my eyes have slipped.
While I slept. Dreaming of you.
Blood now on my hands, streaming from my heart and head.
Covering all I touch.
My broken bones inside, crushed in the memory of you.
Bleeding out, sinking away.
This love you had, crying out of me.
Haemorrhaging these emotions, replacing them with oily hurt.
Bruised. Battered and bloodied. Because I lost you.

Hold on to me

You’re the one who comes between us.
Coughing out your IQ, slipping your hand behind the couch of the night.
Leaving me always chocking on your haemoglobin.
Shooting to the sky, and yet careful not to fall.
My eyes are wide, yet they scarcely see you.
The black of loneliness that you leave me with. Weightless and bare.
In the dark, it all looks the same; until you set me on fire.
Warming your hands until I burn to a spark.
Killing me before I get too old.
These words from you are too vulgar, yet I say thank you.
Breathing them in and setting up homes for them inside of me.
Precious fragile fragments of attention.
Your racing heart surprises me, and brings me back; brings me down.
Simmering into something else.
I come back to you in pieces.
Littering your soul.
I know you want to stop.

Black heart down

Our cover is blown, this black on my face is useless.
The black in my heart now permanent.
I shoot into the air, reaching up to God.
Cutting a line of bullets across the seas as you say your goodbyes.
Scrambling in my camouflage heart. Losing all self-control.
I’m fighting for the fate of our love. Such desire.
I’m dying from the weight of our love.
Dangerous forces, twisting like fate rip me from this place.
A turn around and a tourniquet, waiting for the rains of remorse.
What is this thing? What is this love we’re fighting for?
What am I killing you for everyday?
I’ve been that person, for the last time. I’ve been your lover for an age.
God knows I tried. God knows you cried.
I see all this, when the anger shows and you shoot to kill.
Leaving me on the floor. Covered in blood and sawdust memories.
The grave pulls me under, that well-worn hand of comfort.
Sweet relief of death and freedom from tomorrow.

Painting Frida Kahlo

My bones are smashed, my soul is shaken.
Paint flecks into my blood stream. All reds and blues.
Peal my skin away and display my head as a candy skull, paint a smile that misrepresents.
Confined to my bed I see the world not how it is, or how it should be.
But as a world where the monsters roam, resurging my secure need to stay inside.
Confined and cloistered away.
Painting the windows up, choking off the world.
You could find me there, if you decide to look.
Where monkeys run amok in my head, and I remain devoted to you despite all I’ve seen.
Bathing in the heat of the tropics and the bleach in the bathtub, vomiting out the apples you feed me.
Admiring my own reflection.
Painting Frida Kahlo.

Cascade (Care for)

This talk of syncretic rhythm.
Finds me cowering under the pillows. Filling up my ears with atoms and ghosts.
It rocks me into unsteadiness.
These thoughts you conjure, they hurt me.
Your words are like weapons, sometimes they cut too deep.
Your blitz came and went, leaving my cathedral of love intact; if not surrounded by smoke and dead souls.
Standing at least.
I sing out a lullaby and light a candle here in the dark.
My sky machine is set to 7, and stars cascade like a celestial waterfall.
Blood on the rocks, bodies in the water. Drowning in the Milky Way.
If you lick my skin, you will not taste milk and honey.
If you bite my flesh, all you will see is bone and cartilage of sorrow.
The blood drool of your passion, a butchery banquet.
The smell of revenge in the air sends you up again.
Higher, over the moon and into my bed.
Into my head.
Ripping apart my lonely grey. Making my eyes dazzle gold like a bruised sun.
As I crawl back to the sea.

Yours to dissect

I always knew.
These epiphanies like fireworks in my head. My chemistry pulsating towards yours.
You move back, detach. Repel like the wrong end of the magnet.
You smoke your cigarette, I taste the ash in my mouth.
Feeling for your touch, needing you near. Reaching out, only to fall further.
I fall back into my blood, swimming against the current of your love.
I always knew, yet never really comprehended.
I taste your daydreams and feast on the scraps you throw me now.
Like a dog tied up outside a newsagents, waiting restlessly for you to return.
The place we first met, that memory now is haunted by feelings I cannot control.
A life made up of isolated moments, laid out on the table of a relationship.
Carve, drink and hack away at them. Vomit out what you no longer require.
The pain cracks in your bones and you cry out. Jagged little hypnotics get swallowed down.
I drift into your subconscious. Into the sleep, the pre-cursor of death.
There is no life here anymore, since you went away. Since you said you needed your freedom.
My Frankenstein creation is laid to rest. Life bad, death good.
My monster love that caused such havoc.
Sinking slowly to the bottom of the sea.

Coordinate my heart

Trying to find you on a map today, elusive and disorientating.
All lines and colours.
You’re lost to me, like thirty minutes in the wrong direction.
Asleep on the train.
The thorn in your side is me, the smile and frown pulling you under.
I barely stay afloat myself, holding on to these little rejections.
Devastated, my heartbeat quickens.
Deflated, the blood thickens.
No coercion in love, no help from above.
Just sweet words that fall to the floor.
Faster than the time before.

Seahorse

The Saturn rings look like halos above you. Don’t move, you look divine.
Around your feet the seahorses play, kicking up moon dust memories.
You find me, deep down in the Mariana trench, decaying like an old wreck.
Do not ask me to play hide and seek now, I do not know the universe as well as you.
1, 2, 3, 4…..Comets shoot across my sky, turning the blackness to fire.
I’m blinded and momentarily lost. You paralyse me with your tongue, licking sweet sensations upon me then flicking me with words that sink in, deep into the bloodstream.
My nakedness parades in full as I stroll across the moon.
Swim to the ocean floor, swim forever more in the sea that seems beyond tranquil.
8, 9, 10….ready or not.
You found me, just north of Neptune, wearing my crown.
You say it suits you better, everything always does.
I diminish in ill-fitting clothes of the emperor. Falling into threadbare solitude.
Will the trident ever be tasted? How much blood needs to flow into these craters to satisfy?
Throw me back to the tide and cast your net further afar. Let the oceans pull you away so I never let you plunge my Atlantis into dismay.
My pyramids will be forever mine alone, a place I can go to weep and smile.

Remittance of the love that is lost to the ways of the world (part II)

Your eyes dared me to ask you what it was, like I didn’t know. The deluded pleas of the guilty, while all around the judges think of what punishment would be best fitting. The dying cat of curiosity rose and fell within me, and I turned away. I could not look, I could not commit to the ending so willingly. The metal felt cool against my temple, though it was your smell that made me aware of what you were doing. It crawled over me like the scent of the sea. The gun clicked. I felt you near and shut my eyes, longing for you to turn my head and kiss me. Those days were long gone. A quick stab in the back, the knife that had, but till a moment ago seemed mysteriously absent, sent the tiny nerves in my body cascading like fireworks. Your mouth came close to my ear and you whispered the words I never believed you would utter in this scenario.

(Truth is, you never said these three words with any conviction that would render it believable in the past, yet something told me this was the cold hard truth that my mind was digesting).

The sound of birds filled the room, and forced me to open my eyes. I turned and saw you there, eyes aflame and soul locking its door forever on me, never to be seen again by my pathetic searching pupils. Feathers fluttered down upon us as the ceiling filled with vultures, gathering and yarring with their hungry beaks. Their black hisses and calls split my ears. The box on the table flew open and out poured the remaining blood that flowed towards us like a lava stream. The contents bobbed on the surface momentarily before submerging into the crimson depths. I sighed, you grabbed me and kissed me full on the mouth. You sighed as I turned the gun and shot us both.