Bow-Bend-Break

Feeling caught, stuck in God’s hypothetical conversation.
Nothing like him, nothing like them.
Just ordinary and irresponsible.
Rama and Jesus toy with me, threatening debt collections.
I see this for what it is, out of hymn books and mythological mantras.
Dizzied by the nirvana.
Which holy right keeps me scratching at the door, faltering on each sin that snuffles at my own?
Crush me with sandalwood beads and drown my lungs in incense.
My blood is yours and bleeds a pious pigment.
Down on such bended knees.
How long till it ends, or until the world is created?
Leave me to count the spines of the leviathan that I follow down into the deep.
To the innermost depths of an Edenistical land washed clean by the flood.
Sipping antibiotics and feasting on scraps.
Clipping my own wings.

Unconditional elation

Scary tales that suffocate. Around and around they incubate.
A seismic chorus and ring.
Drop your emotions like a wilting flower.
A deep dark blue that stains my veins.
Talk me into heaven. Slip me in hell.
The beautiful sinner within you dissolves in my mouth.
Suspension with such suspense. Blinking out words that irritate.
Scratch on my mind like an itch on the back of my throat.
Your inky blue soul, a rip tide of delight.
Encasing me once more in a silken cathedral of skin.
Let me pray.
On my knees.
Waiting for the holy water to come.

Sacred sinners

On a night like this, as the clouds cover the moon.
Or is it your hand reaching up to the sky?
Reaching towards heaven, trying to pull over the milky way.
Your feet stick into the mud of our circumstance.
Arms tarred and feathered like mine.
Your lips have known a thousand others.
Tasted a million other apples.
Lucifer in my hands, yet the Satan in my heart.
A name chained in irons and weighed down with history.
Yet to my eyes you are future, dipped in stars & the clouds you fell through.
They nailed me to the tree, they never knew love.
Letting me bleed out until the oil fell forth.
You cut me down and you hold me now.
Kissing the scars, wiping away the ink that burned.
I clip my wings and lay you in your my feathers and down.
Feeling my saliva sizzle on your skin.
Let us pull the soil over us and sleep forever in our own Eden.
Lucifer and Jesus, locked in eternity; or as long as the world rotates.
Orbiting the sun, and listening to the solar system.
Hiding from God.

The Gospel of no-one

Be careful of those who open their diamond hands.
Chewing opium smoked souls and offering hearts.
These will be those closest to you.
Forgive them, we know not what we do.
Swimming in the sin of a century.
Crawling once more on the back of time.
A miseducation of things once told.
Scratched on tablets, ground down like baby teeth.
But the skies won’t fall.
And though walls grow tall we strengthen our desire.
To avoid smashing galaxies and fragile pieces of others.
Every time you try to be what they expect, the honey sting;
the disdainful look of Lucifer drops all that is tired.
We become more inspired.
And make way for the inevitable bliss.
In Zion.

A church in the heart

He came to that place.
Where they all disappeared.
Where their hearts had stopped beating.
Ghosts clung to the air like static electricity.
Sucking up souls.
Licking their lips.
A mumbled prayer drifted from his most pious mouth.
Strung out like pearls on the ocean floor.
Saints prevailed, blessed father above and below.
And then time unwound.
Flashed back like traffic.
They breathed life again, resurrected in this space.
Hungry after so long away.
Choking up rosary beads and blood.
A prayer to save us all.
Or to condemn those departing.
In the end, only God may judge them.

I kill the darkness

Are you still thinking, brain turning, losing love? Of course you are.
Has the line you drew been crossed by my clumsy shoe; of course it has.
Leaving, emptying the room in thirty seconds flat, a record.
I’m peeling the hatred away that is covered in your discontent.
No sunny skies, no sunny ray of light. All is dark as the void suffocates.
I’ve grown tired of the claustrophobia; I’ve always had one hand on the door.
I’ve always had good intentions, and ears closed to opposites to ignore.
I’m on my knees that you left here, I’m crying deep into my hands.
The tears do nothing but burn me, and make it even so hard to stand.
Behind me the devils are mounting, the spectre of death is my friend.
The god I thought has abandoned me, left a note that read ‘your own end’.
So I turn from this place where you left me, and I acknowledge the reasons you fly.
Then you come back despite it all, despite the horror I’ve caused.
And you give me the strength to both stand up, and accept everything is really my fault.
The crack of light is suddenly blinding, the darkness is melting away.
And I tell you it will be different, if you have faith in me and stay.
So I kill the black and darkness, I kill all the fear and all the dread.
And I put to sleep all the bullshit, and smash my love inside your head.
10 months of investment, and 7 days of unrest.
I want to take back all the anger, and all the things I detest.
And do you still think of ending it all? Of course you will.
And you’ll still think of things as all wrong? Of course you will.
And I know your heart is aching, bleeding. Of course I do.
But let me be the bandage that heals, let me bleed for you.