Haunted hunter

A mournful tune to play as the bones buckle.
The hum inside your gums while the night lingers on.
What sound called to you, rose you from that grave of regret.
We sit and watch the world tip over, spun into a dizzying dervish and lost in the mind of God.
These darkened eyes that haunt you, casting casualties and consequence.
Do you leave them to turn to stone?
To honey up and glaze like the milky itch of remorse?
How heavy the skin of the idle.
Bleached into the alien grey like driftwood on a beach.
Turn on that apology and settle into an xstatic rhythm.
Shaken from the willows of the wilds. Shaking stars and dust from your mind.
The black swan which follows you, cries out for change.
Etiolated in the darkening world you occupy.
Be still its cries of the dying, the call for collapse.
For this flightless bird of paradise craves warmer climates.
And a world much brighter than our own.

Into stars

Bury us where we fall.
Let the pillars of salt tumble, washed away in the monsoon rains.
Stain our souls with an oil of an age.
Squeezed from the ruby fruit swallowed by God.
Bones break and winds change.
Breathing a new time and vision to assemble.
Unpack the dreams that were lost to us.
Glow them out like phosphorus diamonds in our minds.
Let us turn and change in the weather.
Weathered too many storms and cracked by too many winters.
Lay down into the ivy and close the eyes of the young.
Speak tender words of softened touches and understanding.
Leave us to fade into time, our sorrow to crumble like stone.
Speak our names as we finally disappear.
And turn back to stardust

This is now your lament

Turning to fire in the diamond white sky.
Blaze across our memories like a dying comet.
Let go of disappointments, and feel the ground instead.
Touch my soul and feel your bones shake.
Then feel it in my heartbeats.
Singing out a rhythm as you dance to a heavenly tune.
We watched as you collapsed.
Imploded like a supernova of shame.
Yet do not decay and float away on the solar winds.
Cast you tear stained stars all over our indigo horizon.
Take the strides and tides that rip and pull at us away.
And leave us in the breeze of your wake.
Reaching up to heaven in our own floric ascent.
Like a frozen flower in a meadow of dust.
Locked for eternity, in the pull of your divine gravity.
Shed not a glance at our artic distress.
For we melt on the inside, knowing you are safe.

A Place in the stars

(Not part of, but in conjunction with ‘Echoes in space’)

Lots of people were afraid. Rationale and irrational fears grew like ivy in the cluttered world he lived in. As Jerimiah grew up, he found fear was just a pat of life. His sister had always been afraid of spiders. Snakes too, though spiders were a more every day hazard, bringing out an alarming response from her no matter who was around. He never forgot the day she found one in her bed when she was going to sleep, the screams had echoed down into the street making the dogs in the neighbour’s yard bark. They had shared a bedroom in the old house then, out of necessity more than anything else. It wasn’t until he was five years old that he had a room of his own. Of course, this came with the collapse of his parent’s marriage and he would have traded in a second the large bedroom at his father’s house, for the pokey one he shared with his sister. At least that way they would still be together. But people, like marriages collapse. His sister departing only a year into his larger bedroom life, not from a spider attack, but from the leukaemia that had corroded her from the inside.

Jerimiah was afraid of one thing, and one thing only. He was afraid of time. How it snuck in on him and those he loved. Snatching away those things, and people he held dear. Turning, tumbling and changing his little world that he would want to keep secret and safe under a bell jar. He would look up into the night’s sky and see the stars blinkering above him. Fixed into position like reliable Christmas lights, always there like the season, waiting to bring joy. It wasn’t until he was much older that he learned the true nature of space. The twirling chaos that attacked the cosmos, with everything in flux. But for that six year boy within him still, he would always see safety and security in the stars. His friends that were always there like jewels in black cement.

Jerimiah though was understanding about people’s fears. He understood why his sister had been afraid of spiders. How her mind would run with a thousand possibilities of what could happen, and the deathly mist that surrounded them and the poisonousness possibilities. Much like he understood people’s fear of flying. He had met an old lady on a flight to Rome once before, sitting in the aisle seat next to him. She was so afraid, her white knuckles had gripped onto the armrest for the duration of the flight, her eyes closed as if in silent prayer to keep her aloft, and to land safely in the eternal city. He had wondered what she was so desperate to live for, what in her life was she so afraid of losing. One’s death being usually a horrible climax of pain and distress, but momentary. What was she so afraid of not completing? What had her life really been about?

He had sat there himself on that small plane, thousands of miles above the French Alps, watching the snow-capped peaks shimmering in the sun. If they were to descend; collapse in a fiery demise and be strewn in wreckage across the snowy landscape, what was he missing out on? What in his life was he left to accomplish or leave behind? He would be missed of course. His partner would be distraught, and tears would be shed. But life would go on, time would cover the hurt up in sand and silence. Changing once more the nature of things.

Time. His biggest enemy.

He had landed in Rome safe and sound, the flight not having crashed like many unfortunate others had. He had quit is job that very day, enjoying a nice little holiday there instead of the work he had come there to do.

If he had known he were to die at the age of thirty three, Jerimiah would probably not have done things much different than he had. He would most likely have avoided a lot more arguments. Those stupid back and forths with people over things that mean nothing to wider universe. He knew time was always against him, under his feet like an escalator he couldn’t stop or slow down. In this way, he lived a full life. He understood the preciousness and fragility of life. He squeezed his partner a bit more when they hugged and kissed. He meant it more when he said I love you. Perfection was not to be a part of his existence on earth, yet Jerimiah saw the bigger picture. It was all a blink in the eye of God, and he knew he had no time to waste.

When at thirty three, he reached the top of the escalator, he glanced over the side to see how far he’d come. It all looked so small and crushable from his vantage point. He was alone, but he wasn’t sad. He could see his friends glittering their celestial magic as diamonds across the inky black. Their luminosity radiant and strong like a million burning suns. And he took his place in the stars, content and happy that the clocks had finally stopped ticking.

The bones of your universe

Trace these emotions across my skin.
Dipping into the sea of unsettlement.
Each grain of sand a product of when our souls smashed together.
I let the tide of you wash over me.
Pulling me up towards the stars, and around the moon.
A constant constellation of the uncontrolled.
Rhythmically timed to your orbit.
Should I lay back? Should I cry out?
Let the stars now wash over me.
Gripped in your galaxy once more.
Drowning in perfection, holding on for the ride.

Trailing reality

Where did you find me?
Where the willows whisper?
That quiet place where they weep.
Falling over the side of the world.
Don’t make a sound if you’ve come here for that.
Sit quietly and rock the sands of time in your hand.
Back and forth, like a spirit on a sea.
Breathe in this peaceful frozen moment.
And let go of my hand.
You can turn away and leave me be.
Slip out the side of the planet and disappear into the stars.
I was content here alone.
Dipping my toe out of reality.
Fear not the monster at my feet.
That had slithered out the tranquil pool where you caught your own reflection.
I know its ways.
All his tantrums and toil.
It’s all crocodile tears these days anyhow.

Baptised by you

That endless world they talk of, it opened in my heart.
When you looked at me, with that light in your eyes.
And in that moment, like that pebble in your hand.
You grasped at the infinite, and you consumed my soul.
And we would remain forever bound.
Like that pebble in the ferocious stream.
Washed endlessly by the cosmic current till clean.

Stuck

I dreamt about the future, while all around; they walk it back.
I’d been beyond there, far away and out of reach.
Such things I’d seen.
All that time missing the big reveal.
Now the stars drip down like lies off a tongue.
Hold it and eat them.
Cough.
Then lick them up. Shut them up.
Try to let me in, though a distant world away.
This could be the saddest day.
And though I get lyrical, as I always will.
Tarred and caught in the well placed trap.
I ask that you touch me….I am trying.
Come walk these shoes and wear this soul.
Give me new direction.

Where do you go?

When this world takes over me.
Smoking stars and twilight.
This impossible process of living.
Breathing each time the same.
Where do you go to?
Down into the ground with the bones.
Up to the sky with the feathers.
Swimming for now in this sea of uncertainty.
Where do I find you when I need that earthy voice?
That stone rooted soul that flicks away the flies of remorse.
Seek and thee shall find, but you are absent in this moment.
Gone away with the fairies as I relapse into tinkerbell tendencies.
I will find you there, I swear.
Caught between the tide and heaven.
Sailing our love to the ends of the world.
You be the captain.
And we’ll be forever saved.
Drifting on the tide around Saturn.

Enabled sleep

Lay me down with the tinkling of glass.
Those little fellows with their chalky mouths.
Grinning at an untold joke.
Keeping their euphoria to themselves.
The night suffocates, yet refuses to devour me.
Leaving me bitter and longing for sleep.
The jealously of the slumbered ripples across my skin like the cold.
It happened today, wearing my tiredness on my sleeve.
Welcoming rest and dreams within dreams.
Yet it won’ come.
Like an un-landed flight, I circle the skies in my lumbering state.
Creaking the fuselage with my tectonic groans.
Swaying in the night sky full of stars.
I manufacture a restful condition, listening to the world settle.
The universe put to bed and still.
They return, mother’s little helpers with their permanent smiles.
Swallowed down. I’ve been so high.
Aloft yet well-travelled.
There is nothing wrong now, I just needed to believe.
Dive into that waiting white surface so cool and clean.
Landed. 5am.
Grounded.

Too cold for snow

Caught in the teardrop, that’s trapped in time.
Shivering into something unfamiliar.
These bite marks plague me still.
Itching my skin like memories.
If you just let me go.
Watch me walk into that dying star.
Into the fire.
So encased in fear. This icy realm of apathy.
Too hurt to start again.
Too tired of being tired.
Looking at the grey sky in your eyes as you whisper.
It’s too cold for snow.

Optimistic voices

Take this minds eye and see what I see.
Holding back a dam. Holding your hand.
A kick start heart blazing across the sky.
Watching them all drown on display.
Ideas of failure and dreams collapsing.
Breathe me in.
Sweat me out.
These optimistic voices explode like stars.
Rain them down and inhaled like candy.
This revolution of love is about to begin.
Front lined and armed with tolerant heroin.
Lick an idea that was not born inside you.
Apple cored and ruby red. Easy to digest.
Sending the sadness to a deep white slumber.
Then storm the castle. Kiss my like thunder.

Breathe inside me

Call me down from the universe, way up high.
Brush away the moon dust.
Cough up the stars.
You took that picture of us down.
You smashed it into bits.
You broke the past, your burnt the time.
Cutting me deeper than you ever knew you could.
Band aid this flesh that hangs off the bone.
Kiss it to make it better.
Breathe under this water, under my skin.
You’ve packed the walls with soil.
Scattered seeds like a dervish.
You pray for the rain.
You pray for the devil to change.
I stay.
Why do I need you so?

Breathe & beat

In a day I walk around the sun.
I trip over you, sleeping on the stars.
Waking you from such magical dreams.
The rays of light burn away my sadness.
The glue of imperfection that held me together.
You smile and promise such freedom.
All I need do, is take your hand and step into now.
But I hesitate.
I quiver.
Grown accustom to these prison walls.
So you pull me through space, gripped like a talon.
Pulling me tight, telling me to hold on.
As your pour gold into my skull.
Lifting me to the surface.
To breathe again, and be.

Holding back the rain

The rains came.
A smell of subterfuge in the air.
Unpicking the sanity, one stitch at a time.
Quickerty quick.
Chased down the rabbit hole, on the back of a hare.
Hurrying home.
Faster than the neurons firing in that skull.
Calm me down.
Let me lick the bones beneath.
Sniffing that alabaster heart locked within.
That day was like any other, with no parade.
No trumpet calling me to arms.
Teaching me how to fight.
I take down the sun, replacing it with the moon.
Creating shadows in time, moving with more purpose.
The gates of heaven are always open, easy to slip inside.
Called back after years away, lost in the material.
The world within a world.
That day the rains came.
Eager to wash it all away.
But they drowned you too soon, caught up in the current.
Sunken like a wreck we planned to sail.
Here it rains only stars.
Peppering my eyes with light like snow.
Yet I think of you still. Fighting against the undertow.
Holding back the rain.

Sink & swim

Washed up on the tide, scorched in tangerine sun. 
Shipwrecked and cynical, like the pirate in your mind. 
You placed it there, you wore it out. 
Alone in that head the reaches back like a cave. 
Echoing into epochs and the seconds of anxious. 
The most agitated state 
Fondled by that well worn hand that caresses.  
Inside the box of lost and found. 
Stroked like a watermelon. Sucked like a sour feeling. 
Sting the sweet, let it drip on your tongue. 
Rubbing honey across your teeth like a bear. 
Catching bees with bread.  
All deflates, and retracts. 
Sighed out in theatrics and cosmic tears.
Leave it to dry in the sun once more. 
Stretched out like Jesus and the saints in your soul.  
Take the pebbles out of the pockets.  
Replace them with diamonds and blocks of gold. 
Then walk. 
Slowly, and with purpose into the lake of the twinkling now. 

Golden gravity’s pull

My blood made of neon and speckled in gold.
Caught you looking.
Peeking inside my soul.
Come lick the satin from my windowpane.
Come be the reason i’m born again.
Reach inside, run your knuckles up my spine.
Your fingers around my heart.
Tonguing tried history.
Tasting dinosaur blood and DNA.
See me blaze, and watch my rise.
Thread you fingers through the string and come away with me.
Star coated kites in the black velvet sky.

Succumb to hurricanes

This theatre closed late one summer night, pulling the curtains that were a patchwork of stars.
You bowed your last, shuddering out of a promise you couldn’t keep.
As these dreams collapsed.
Pulling me through time and smacking reality in my face.
Lamplights.
Now 2am.
Slinking into sleep and flickering into a new stasis.
Part truth, part fiction.
The wrong side of poetic. Wiping the walls with the blackness that remains.
Cemented in orange courage, dabbing away the corrosives with tiny cotton wool stones.
Erasing the dates that were circled in red.
Sucking on pennies for protein. Letting it all unfold.
Carrying me away.
Monday.
Satin lined sorrow and the disinterest of my thoughts.
Closing the windows of earth once more.
Words that bind.
Falling from altitudes to nothing but blue.
Undercurrents of debris and smashed reasons.
Trapped in cage with the door wide open.
That bird in me is never going to fly to the top of the world.
Collapsed into the fading smile of your yesterday.
Succumbed to those shadows

Slipping on stars

Lost in words, sweet syllables and lullabies.
Knowing too well the winners write the rule books.
Always first in the end, then onto the beginning. Re-structuring my world away.
April night, waiting for the moon to sleep.
Had enough fights to make sure the bruises will never fade. Leaving it all behind.
Choking on solar flares, breathing in a new tomorrow.
The stakes never higher, you chased me from pole to pole, frozen in your righteousness.
Your need to be right and your tries that bind. Trying to be me, trying to be something different.
But I wipe this away and breathe in the galactic air.
Allowing cosmosis to take me deep within you, and all your little galaxies.
The Pisces in me is rising, questioning my reasons to stay; as always.
But the chrysalis of us has flared and I’m strolling now in your starry garden, letting us rest upon my shoulders.
Slipping on stars and sliding into deeper space.
Orbiting you, questioning Copernicus.
Blinded once more by your light.

Dissolve

On my fingertips, dancing like a tiger.
The tip of my tongue, growling like a beast.
Naming you, shaming you. Falling under. My fingertips now tingle.
Blood and sweat dripping down like melting galaxies.
You fold away the past, and dissolve the future.
Streaking my colours into a frantic version of now.
Washing away the grey.
This good life you prophesize, I want to know all about it.
As I swirl round and round in the delusional dream.
Floating on the falling stars while I wave goodbye to the lonely.
These cells break down and collapse. This earth shakes underneath.
A ballet of our isotopes, that merge and fall with each of your heartbeats.
I cling to you, for fear of disappearing completely.
Of wanting to be lost in you.
This sweet gigantic resolve, and chaotic dissolve of mergence.
As you love me, for me.

Your universe threatens to devour

My dreams ignite like a Chagall construction.
You and I, flying over roof tops. Exploding in colour.
I lay you down and crawl into your skin.
Kissing you intimately, feeling my way.
Though your body entices and your heart entraps, it is your soul I’m after.
The bruised, damaged fraying thing that I wish to breathe life into.
It runs from me like a feather on the breeze, escaping like a Bharatanatyam movement.
Colours and light, burning my sad lonely grey into nothing.
Love on your fingertips, sticky from the centre of me.
Though this may be transitory, I give in and go under.
Falling for you again, disappearing in your wonder and the perfumed smoke of you.
Coughing up clouds of devotion, and descending like the setting sun.