Spark

There’s a voice in me that says you will not bend.
You will not snap, you will not end.
A hurtful pain, aimed at this heart.
Etched in stone, and miles apart.
I want to be wrong, to drink in hope.
To remain grounded, to live, to cope.
Yet all around the skies turn dark.
As nothing burns, without a spark.
And at the point where I am weakest.
You set a flame and sing ‘defeatist’.

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Burning feathers

What scrapes at the inside of this skull?
Trying to break free from mirroring misery.
A bird trapped, or a candle with no flame.
Fighting against something that isn’t there.
Inside these reflections, dwells a silent creature.
Bound in feathers, but fearing flight.
Waiting to breathe, to fly and ignite.

Cremate

Break these bones into splinters. Snap the spine and suck the sap.
Throw the pieces on the fire. Douse it all with distain and detriment.
Do not handle me with gloves on.
Touch me deep.
Treat me like a firework, ready to burn. Burning through like phosphors.
Strike the match on my skull. Crinkle and crack such emotions within.
Burning down to my heart, sending my soul to embers.
Floating into your lungs to dwell forever within.

Scorch

That first emotion that we both betrayed.
Tasting dangling carrots.
Asking for god to let us both in.
Kick this cart and tear the hide.
Let me see you swimming in the night.
In the dark, all cats look grey; and you take me there.
Push me under, watch me sway.
This magnitude, did you invoke or ask for?
Shake my resolve once more to this core.
Dipping me quick, with a turpentine kiss.
Lighting you match, and set my soul on fire.
You know where it burns.
Sizzling in my oceanic heart. Like sulphur from the breath of Lucifer.
Yet you roll me over. Again and again.
Till my teeth ache and drop to the floor.
And my mind blisters.
And the lust festers.
And the earth did open and swallow me whole.

Skylark – Soar

That sweet melody of promises you made to break.
From that little bird inside your heart.
As the daylight fades, it bursts into flames.
It’s burning wings signalling the setting sun.
Falling feathers that tickle my soul.
Oh little bird, where have you gone?
Out of the air and into the dark?
One day you will find me, your naked sky to soar within.
Scattering stardust in a different light.

The Buildings melted

Watching the horizon through tempered glass.
Silhouettes that block out the sun.
Only for a moment.
A moment too long.
The flames lick at his desk, eating away the wood.
Tapping on his soul.
They corrode the walls around him.
Destroying fibreglass and dreams of tomorrow.
He tries to block out the voices.
Scratching inside his skull like rats in a well.
Closing his eyes. Out through the glass.
Trying not to think about the ground.
Going to the place a million miles away.
A place his family dwells.
He feels the rush through his bones.
The ache of his heart.
The monstrous shadow of hate.
Oil soaked fingers opening Pandora’s box to fate.
That hostile future carved out by domestic architects.
In his long way down.
His final symphony of strings and sirens.
Crumpling into the dust as he sets himself free with a final tear.
Watching from above moments later.
As the realm and the buildings melt.

Surviving is the best revenge

Into the bath he jumped fully clothed.
The water boiled, and curled his toes.
It shed his skin, his hair, his eyes.
But acid, not water burnt away both his thighs.
A ghastly end, but one incomplete.
For his bones remained from head to feet.
So out he jumped, forgetting his pride.
Down the plug the water went, with his thoughts of suicide.
And in the mirror glaring back.
Was his bleached white skeleton, from front to back.
He saw his skull, its sockets so deep.
Out of his mouth a little whimper did creep.
But not one to dither, or dwell in his state.
He ran down the stairs, and out the front gate.
And he came to the house that had made him so morose.
And he slipped through the door, as quiet as a ghost.
He crept up the stair, to where he knew he would find them.
And he brought out some rope, and some tape so to bind them.
Both lovers were sleeping, intertwined while they dreamt.
Their hair and their clothes, all wild and unkempt.
So he tied them together, then he set fire to the bed.
He watched as the flames roared up to their heads.
But before they departed, before their own bones were charred.
He slipped off his fibular to play a tuneful bon voyage.

Shoot for the moon

When this is over, and the world has sighed.
That feeling you once had for me will fire.
Burning up within you like a roman candle.
Like holy vestments you’ll put me on. Pulling me close to your skin.
After the flood and the flames, and stormy tongues.
No longer chocking on the backwash of us.
The taste in your mouth that makes you sick.
Spit.
Don’t swallow this anymore. The fractured dreams and candies off the floor.
When the clouds have rolled on, storming someone else’s world; I’ll take your hand.
And you can feel for my heartbeat. The one that beats only for you.
Drop your gaze and your guard, and let me in again.
Through the thorns and barricades. The brick walls of stubbornness.
The fortress I had to burn.
Let me dwell within you once more, and light up your eyes like starlight.
This shooting star that you bottled, keeping secret and safe.
I will be a happy prisoner, locked in love.
Covering the ashes on your soul, that is really stardust.
Taking you higher than the moon.

Set it all on fire

From the upcoming book ‘Drifting in and out sleep’

I threw away the key to my apartment, you kept yours; that’s fine.
They tell me every day it’s 2015. Do you realise that makes me nearly 33?
How do you stay sane, when all around you I push pins of chaos into your soul?
What if I were to leave, what if I were to stay?
What happened to that money that I gave to the homeless man at the station the other day. The one who told me the world was about to end.
If only he knew, for me it already has.
I’m putting all these things into a box, lifting the rug and pulling out old dusty forgotten pieces.
The smoke will get into your eyes as the box burns.
Old bits of flesh of a life and a heart too broken and now no longer needed.
You ask me who I am now, I tell you I’m the same person I was before.
You tell me who you think I am. That’s not the person you’ve been dealing with.
Someone true.
Burn this room, it’s got too many memories.

Galvanised heart

The weight of your love is crushing me.
This feeling inside, crying for recognition. Burning to be noticed.
My heart speaks when it’s spoken to, flicking words and lust into your cosmos.
I telescope in to view you up close. A solitary star with a black hole heart.
I get pulled under in its undertow.
Sweet words and love I pray for, I kneel down and beg for.
Yet I come up empty. Disheartened and dejected I shuffle into practicalities. Concern by default.
Kiss me with those lips and whisper in my ear what your heart truly desires.
Let me in, or let me be. Cover the lies of fineable with something more meaty, Dripping in rawness.
Love runs through your veins, up to your galvanised heart.
Who wants to light the room with just sparks? Who can warm themselves on just embers?
Burn me if it lights the fire.
Let my heart explode as it is beginning to burn out, like you knew it would In the end.
“Keep with me” you whisper on the wind. “Keep with me”.
The blood seeps into the void, illuminating a life I will never know.
Come see me there, the one you love.
“Keep with me”

When it all falls down

Uninspired and on repeat, clinging to notions like a barnacle on a sunken ship.
What brought it down, what iceberg did I hit?
Sweet frigid love, drifting down from the Aritc. Penguins trapped in ice and resolve.
Yet it was the flames that used to lick at my skin, burning away the dirt and disgust long since decayed.
You sent me up there, loose on strings that you watched fly so high.
This kerosene love, this cocktail of heat and lust.
You let go.
And I began to drift, floating closer to the sun that the wax began to melt and the feathers failed me.
With your hands in your pocket, I know your game. I know you play with the matches.
Dropping them into the gasoline of us, watching us explode with your hidden dynamite.
Deflating and defeating I fold, unable to fight any longer.
Unable to pull you close and promise you we can change.
Your Hindenberg on display. Your dreams going up in smoke.
Now only the monolith of your heart, weathered and scorched by arguments and strain.
I am now the promise you couldn’t keep. You secret shame ready to be hidden away again.
Stitch my eyes and mouth shut, so I no longer see your demise.
I never could stand to see you cry.
Cut my hands so they won’t move to pull you in, or down with me.
My lungs are collapsing, in need of the kiss of life and pulmonary rehabilitation.
Like us.
You stand still, unmoving, watching me burn, blowing smoke into my soul.