Bag of bones

What is left to discover, underneath of another?
Slipping their hand inside your dreams.
Blink and they’ll hover, laying oily fingers upon you.
Dripping into your world.
Turn you over like heroin.
Underneath those clothes that hang like a skin.
They’ll slip within, and caress your soul.
At least that’s what you believe.
That’s what you’ve been told.
A smiling, nodding bag of bones.

Holocaust

This city of bones, filled now with incoherence.
Runs through this heart like haemoglobin.
You banish the hope, all latent strains of co-dependence.
Killing the love within, sparing all but the ghosts.
Who open the holes in these veins.
And sing in your cabaret of departure.
‘’Les morts ne pleurent plus.’’

A Prayer dissected

Wings to fly, yet grounded.
The anchorage of my soul, gravitised to you.
The buildings and clouds climb above us.
Reaching up to god.
Trapped in this feeling, caught in the chaos of blinding resolution.
That glued my eyes open to the reality of it all.
Your feelings match the buildings so tall.
The reach and pull, and ascend away from me.
Into the space of another time.
Another life yet to be.
The weight of your world breaks my bones.
Splinters my soul and leaves me gasping for breath.
Split and scar the flesh to pull out the love.
Though there’s no need to cry.
China tears and crystal cries will only shatter in the echo,
of the words I spoke in pain, in dismantling the church of our hearts.
But keep that light on in our chapel.
The one that banishes the shadows, the things others know.
Those little pieces of our life mean more to me than those.
Let me devour them as you whisper in my ear.
‘You will again pray here.’

The Day of goodbyes

Falling into a sleep that’s caught between the devil and the deep.
Blue, everything blue blue blue.
These hearts, caught on strings and spun around fingers.
Worn on the sleeves, cut into ribbons.
The world need not worry, the moon cares little.
Little spheres of sadness that fade into the space of time.
But there was that day, that long terrible day of goodbyes.
Cut deep into the soul of existence.
A meteor into the ice of now.
Tears stained, then dried as they are spirited off.
Into unknown lands and parts of their mind.
An aching blue, a neon pain remained.
In the absence of other, a divine emptiness.
Conspired by the fates to lick the face of loss.
Not knowing what they had, until it was gone.

Bruises fade to rainbows

She wouldn’t talk about the pain she was in.
The hurt that dwelt beneath her skin.
She didn’t cry, or even murmur.
As he made her flesh, that little bit firmer.
With each punch that found its destination.
A martial disturbance of accustomed agitation.
Bruises showed he really cared.
As he threw her skeleton down the stairs.
The neighbours tuned a blind yet curious eye.
To her haloed face and bloodied thigh.
No-one asked if she needed help.
A shoulder to cry on, or how she felt;
being married to a violent creature.
Who tortured her mind as well as each feature.
She couldn’t escape, or at least she thought.
Which is why she stayed, and perhaps why they fought.
Until one day, when she hit back.
Her own rebellion, when her mind did crack.
She took off her clothes and burnt them there.
Along with his flesh, his eyes and hair.
And painted herself with the most brilliant shades,
to hide the bruises which had yet to fade.
She then went out into the street.
Head held high, no shoes on her feet.
As her house and his corpse burned to an orange glow.
She was now her own liberated rainbow.

Keeping the skeletons subdued

Once, when it was too late.
They slipped in to carry our innocence away.
Stealing our tomorrows with sacks on their backs.
They told us to go west to paradise.
Look up, and think of eucalyptus.
Not these pale blue eyes that drag you to the ocean floor.
A watered grave where your dreams erode like a pebble on the riverbed.
Dressed us in sweet words as they stripped our skin.
Wiping away everything. No fingerprints on our souls.
That great American hero. That angel in the night with the candle burning.
They kept the strings pulled tight.
Bunched and preened us.
Our daffodil heads blobbing in the winds of subjugation.
They touched us deep and unwelcomed.
Feeling up our virtue like a priest would.
Filthy fingers around our bones and hearts.
Stunted our growth.
Licked at us with arthritic tongues, soaking us with erosive saliva.
They hold us still, keeping us in the storm.
As the nightmare rages on.

Try not to breath

Hidden in the shell at the bottom of your soul.
In the hollow of your neck where your vertebrae’s buckle.
The palm of your hand.
It resides. Coughing out songs and laughter.
As you cry.
You choose and change this religion.
Writing your own dreams to dapple these eyelids of the young.
Sticky with Jesus kisses and Vaseline.
Now, there was someone with a bad judge of character.
Yet judge not, lest ye be judged as you chorus and ring in these ears.
Who disagrees?
Off with their heads and bring the bones to your feet.
Suck the soul from within like sap from a tree.
Or a balloon full of fear. Inhaled in a quiet dark room.
Where the shadows and ugly realities lie.
In wait. Ready to buzz out in phosphor.
Luminous lies.
Though it all means nothing to you. A new leprosy for a non-contact age.
Kept at a distance and viewed only through a screen.
Flashing pulsars.
As your neck gives in, staring at a phone all day.
You tie their necks back. A soft motherly touch, done in pink ribbons and lace.
They do not notice how tight you pull, as their view clouds and all they hear is your voice.
Talking, not of the bombs you will drop or the mustard gas breath you hiss.
You tell them they are superman.
Bittersweet and free.

A mouth full of marbles

You hold me until the ghosts are quiet.
Pulling into your soul this shadow of doubt.
A brain full of fire and a mouth full of marbles.
Yet you force me to speak.
A language of unsaying, fluent as the sphinx.
This hostility threatens everyone.
Those been and gone, and ones yet to be.
Sitting on the edge of expectation.
Tasting the chalk in my mouth.
My viper tongue recoils, and you slither away.
Into your own darkness, leaving just reality in my wake.
A wounded bird, a lamb in the teeth of this lion.
Yet my shepherd heart yearns for brighter days and greener pastures.
So let me spit out a saying, one practised like a prayer.
To quiver down your spine.
And rattle in your brain for an age.
Words that will flash before your eyes when you think of me.
And everything that all burnt away.

Spasm

What murmur stutters into existence?
Fast and slow.
Checking out of morality and shaking into something else.
Blur the lines of acceptance.
As we slither into another skin.
And cry within.
Apologise with deep sensation.
Called everything but what you are.
At first it really hurt, but now we joke about it.
Diminished as the light turns low.
Knee jerk into a falling, a sweeping weeping that leaves you empty.
You gave your best today, but you stumble.
Stutter and spasm into another day, another time.
A romantic funeral for the martyr of destiny.
That role no-one chose.
A goodbye for the already forgotten.

There’s nothing wrong here

I wore the role you wanted.
Dressed in those emotions.
Let it drip like turpentine.
You showed me your Jesus scar.
As I cut through the confusion.
You leave me buzzing like a motel sign.
Only you could scratch me that deep.
Rush through me like amphetamines.
What did they say when you returned?
Did you make it feel so numb?
Feasting on cartilage and present tense.
Yet the dark offered such shelter and shadows.
To call you back to another brilliant night.
Where you looked ahead, seeing us there.
Stepping over the bodies of others.
Look me in the eye, celebrate me deep.
They all wanted to be wrong.
Singing their symphony of sorrow for a loss that had not yet begun.
Bone and cheek.
Questioning our mortality as you trim the fat.
All conquering weirdos.
Destroying the things they never understood.

The Ends of her world

She tried to save him on that day.
That day, when the coffee stained sky folded.
She reached out in her own way.
Only for her hands to turn to stone.
And her mind to dust.
A cruel trick of fate positioned her.
To watch his demise from such a vantage point of safety.
Silenced in an eternal knowing.
While a tempest raged in her eyes and mind.
So she threw it all back in time.
Crouched under her bed until the voices left her.
The thuds on the door and within her heart.
While the vines creeped up around her veins,
she erased all that she knew.
At least she tried to.
And she disappeared into the rains that came after.
Leaving no trail in her wake.
Chasing dragons by the flooded lagoon.

Wreckage – Adjustment 1.5

You lost her, a time and a heartache ago.
Spirited into the heavens on a cloud of confusion.
Murdering the future with the finality of death.
To see her now, to touch her face.
To slip inside the soul for a minute and see the life that could’ve been led.
A cosmic re-shuffling.
A kiss from heaven.
Leaves turning brown in an instant.
Evaporated away to leave only space and tears.
That fall from your eyes in a time she never knew.
From a person she no longer knows.
Sweet bitterness, loving and leaving the things that hurt.
Yet offer more love than an ocean of time.
Et vous tombez loin de mes épaules dans l’ombre et la poussière.

Wreckage – adjustment.1

This pain that spreads, that aches like a fire.
Swirling within me like a hallucination.
Is not dampened by these tears from my eyes.
These tears; that do nothing to mask my inner knowing.
That I loved you more than the world.
And miss you beyond the stretches of time.
I was absent when you left.
But I too, died they day you departed.

Dance into decay

You cut my breath.
Bottled it and threw me to the ground.
Smashed my words to the ceiling.
Watching them collide and rain down like sulphur.
Lost dreams in the broken night’s sky.
Collapsing my lungs and setting fire to this correlation,
of these hearts that were once intertwined.
You place bruises on my eyelids, reminding me of your passion.
Leave me bleeding on the ledge.
Beated the love right out me.
Doing harm, because you can.
Left me stuck inside this circumstance.
Asking for answers in a tongueless mouth.
You laugh at my allergic-ness to loneliness.
And thoughts of a distant future.
Which lesson in love do I learn from?
What thought do you vacate me with?
Leaving a halo around my eye.
Which struck me right in the heart.
A slow dance in decay.

Feast

In the end, you’ll only have an empty space.
An empty stomach, with the love you’ve gone through.
That food for the beast within.
Eaten my heart.
Crunched through the bones as you sit back in blood drool.
My face in your hands as the ghosts evaporate.
What was ever here to protect me?
Retreat. Retreat
But all a wasted turn. Theatrics for my unbelieving mind.
Bone pick, teeth click.
My unicorn beliefs get stuck in your teeth.
This story has been swallowed.
Little to no salvation as you mop up with my soul.
Devoured me then and regret me now.
These shadows, now home to me.

Begin the end

You wipe this across me, smearing my soul.
Reasons dipped in the oil of old.
Setting fire to what was constructed in that cathedral heart.
Burn those books.
Too many voices and words that itch your eyes.
Wonderful illuminated choices.
So many options to despise.
You crumble away our past like a mosaic mountain.
Shifting each rock with the ones you throw.
Opinions that hurt, your augmented ammunition.
Laying waste to my field of reprieve.
Never a victim of happenstance.
A martyr all the same.
Bowing to your own reflected idol, hung up in gold and wood.
Or the blue that bruises my world.
Leaving a mark of departure, etched on my skin for an eternity.

Argue

What did they tell you about this future?
While your TV played on and you half listened.
This heart you mangled and molded.
These flowers died a long time ago.
Who is to blame?
Distance. Family.
Your fake departure, when your heart wasn’t in it.
I made this too easy for you.
Red letter days and disappointments. Plastic friends.
Those that melt in the heat while the kitchen burns.
Who dries your eyes now?
Lazarus lies, housewives. Shopping that ego.
Choking on the need to be right.
All those lies have now been tagged.
Selfish. Self-aware. Convenient amnesia.
All built on your version of events.
Under rug sweeping, these broken pieces of a person you once knew.
Only you.
As you blur once more into everyone else.

Sting

The rapid heartbeats within me, shake me like a train track.
You drip through the air like mercury.
Holding your titanium crown aloft for the world to see.
Silently the world waits, as I hold my breath and disposition.
You swim to me in an ocean of darkness.
Bringing destruction that clouds my mind like ink.
Each words carefully uttered, flipped away with an arrogance you wear like skin.
They bruise and dent me, beating me up like a tin can in the street.
Silky words those lips sometimes utter, liked boxed poems and chocolate.
A look that can roll me in sugar.
Not today though.
Now is the time of toxic temperaments.
And words that cut like a knife and sting.
I can’t be immune as you turn your back on me.
So let me cry my eyes out into your ocean;
so you’ll never see them fall.

Too cold for snow

Caught in the teardrop, that’s trapped in time.
Shivering into something unfamiliar.
These bite marks plague me still.
Itching my skin like memories.
If you just let me go.
Watch me walk into that dying star.
Into the fire.
So encased in fear. This icy realm of apathy.
Too hurt to start again.
Too tired of being tired.
Looking at the grey sky in your eyes as you whisper.
It’s too cold for snow.

Touch (solitary)

What was there, was always in your reach.
Yet you faded away like you had all of tomorrow.
They never told you it was all your fault.
Conjured excuses like a jaded magician.
Every time.
That time I rose, that Monday afternoon.
While you pulled to the floor like gravity was in your naval.
Onto the floor in the oil and such darkness.
I had to concentrate to escape. Flicking you tongue and tendrils to pull me back.
Screaming words of God being over.
You hurried the end. Touching yourself to death.
Your own fall-apart masturbation. Split bi-polar with your heart and head.
Never loyal, only to your own pleasure zone.
Absent of me, awash in your schizophrenic frenzy.
Your only remedy would be to take more time.
In your thoughts so sublime.

Endeavoured

Don’t you like this honesty?
This radio station that plays nothing at all.
Just truth.
Echoing in the words dripped form your lips.
I should learn to be thankful.
Where do you run to when my anger shows?
Out of the forest, out the woods?
With unstable ground, mine pocked and hazardous.
Running to find salvation.
Searching for confrontation,
Drill a hole into my soul and let the light in.
Burning white light. Let it wash away the tar.
This tonne of hurt weighted through my veins.
A soul starved of understanding. Just meandering, through this grey world.
Your flesh and bone, covering a soul still unknown.
Asking for directions.
Though strange lands, your heart is still home to me.

Sea salt on my skin

Not looking for anything to interrupt this morning.
Yet came it did.
Hurried through these bones like a freight train.
Cutting me deep.
Such hurt on the telephone.
Transistor tears and unravelling years.
Wiping away tomorrow.
Those words.
Not letting me.
Melted down like mediocrity.
One wish was to take me to higher ground.
To say goodbye.
As the waves lapped at my feet.

An interior rhythm

How to rise, when you’re broken.
Like lofty branches that scratch the sky.
Down here on the forest floor, tangled with the roots.
I feel collapsed. I feel free.
I want to tear it apart.
I had to burn it down.
Pick the thorns out of my bark, the chattel from my teeth.
Swaying with the world now. Rising on its axis.
I swing to a new realm, on the pendulous heartbeat of tomorrow.
I allowed myself to fall apart.
Welcoming the termites of time. Destroying all I had.
Whilst watching the watchers in the wings.
Birds who fly with nightshade plumage.
Cluck their tongues and talk of responsibilities.
Laying eggs for a farmer who will devour their friends.
You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what I grew through.
Such hard terrain and unholy winters. Sprouting to my own spring chorus.
You don’t know me, how could you?
I don’t even know myself.