Lex talionis

To mark her lips, a bite that one would linger.
Consumed, not in anger.
But a love that dwelled within.
This reasoning. Hurried like the ghosts of youth.
Prickled at the mind. Forcing such wayward expansion.
The roaming hands and clicking of tongues that carried such mental masturbatory thoughts.
She switched on the light upstairs, and poured forth with a cascade of collections.
A lit flame in the belly. A catch of the smell beneath her thighs.
A sigh.
What ram shackled arms kept her from the storm?
Scarred and weakened, hung low like the ebb tide.
Jolted by an osteoporosis in a spine so usually straightened.
She pulled her close, deep within to protector her from the crumbling world.
The falling of civilizations and the countenance of god.
A new god, born in the tangles of her hair.
The well of her soul.
And the pain in her kiss.
Miss, subtle cataclysm.

Advertisements

Outshine them all

An absent minded pioneer.
Forgetting the parts of me we have discovered.
Paid blue. Flashing to neon red.
Fusing the split and feigning licks.
Time. Tongue. Hung.
All under control.
Lost, spat out at into the night.
Caught in the taming lion love that roars like a first.
Caught in the jaws of a beast that slips the ropes.
Still remembering and engineering the future.
Cupped into your hand with the voice you captured.
What is right, what is right for us?
A prayer in the dark as the kisses cover you.
Whispers of the voice now broken free.
Dancing on your cheek with the grace of the devil.
That gapping void yawning out ‘Disappear here’.
Going.
Goi.
G….
Gone.

Kiss me like a stranger

How long had she been driving? The sky above her was threatening the night, while bullet lights of passing cars pierced her eyes. She had left that morning, surprised by so many things that were happening, but no longer surprised by being surprised.

She had packed up things so quickly. Everything swept away with such ease she felt she could be erased from life in a blink of an eye and no-one would notice, no one would care. A part of her doubted she would even go through with it. But down the highway heading out away from town she smiled to herself, a scared secret smile that she was doing the right thing. Not the best thing, this would not make her instantly happy or even make the pain stop. But it was the right thing to do.

She yawned theatrically, and pushed her hair back catching her nail in some of the strands. She opened the car window for the cool air to wake her up a little. Her phone had been switched off since she’d left, she knew there would be endless calls and texts until she was located; talked around and called back. She was happy to silence that. The radio rang out, lifting her spirits as the night closed in on that highway which was getting more isolated. The lights in the distance were getting further apart and she knew she was hitting the ‘Quietlands’, the stretch of road that coursed through a mini desert with nothing of interest on either side of her.

She was getting tired, and she was hot still, even as the day’s heat descended. She felt grubby and sweaty, her back sticking to the seat of the car as she zoomed away from her past. She knew her destination. She had had it planned and etched I her mind for years now. She knew which road to take and how long it would be until she got there, and she planned to drive through the night to make it.  Her eyes were getting heavy though. The lids dropping like a shutter to a store closing for the night.

She took a right turn down a road she knew was wrong almost instantly. The silent highway tarmac gave way to a rough dirt track which snaked around the cactus and mounds of earth. She stopped suddenly, releasing she had gone wrong and put the car in reverse when he spotted some dim lights up ahead. They weren’t moving, and she guessed they were pulled to the side of the road. What a shitty place to break down she thought and put the car into gear and drove slowly up to where the other one was parked.

She pulled alongside the car, which she noticed too was the same model as her own. At least she might be able to help fix it, her own car had given her quite a few problems over the years, and she always carried a spare of everything. The sun had disappeared over the horizon now with the slither of light hanging on to the blue black sky. Though the lights were on, she couldn’t see anyone at first.

“Hello?” She called out, though the open window of her car.

It was then she appeared.

She floated as if on a sea of crimson, her red dress puncturing the sandy track like blood slashed across flesh. She came from the bushes, her hair immaculate with a faraway look in her eye. Jessie was a little taken aback, but she called out again; assuming she had not heard her as she had not replied.

“Hello, do you need some help.”

The woman smiled and carried on over to her car where she knelt on the wound down window.

“Hey. What’s up?” She said, as if meeting on old friend.

Jessie looked at her through the dying light of the day, framed in her car’s window pain. She was everything she had wanted to be once. She looked immaculate, like she was stepping out onto the town. She wore a confidence that married her friendliness well, the two playing out for the audience of anyone.

“Do you need help, is your car broken down?” Jessie asked, smiling encouragingly.

“That piece of shit? It’s old, but it’s working.” The woman replied, giving Jessie the once over.
“Oh, I thought you might be in some sort of trouble?” Jessie asked, making it a question.

“Trouble?” the woman asked curiously, and laughed a little. And with that she turned around and walked back to her car.

Jessie watched her, momentarily unsure of what to do. She then suddenly felt the urge to get out of her own car. She unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of her dusty machine which whirled and deflated after the long hot day.

“What’s your name?” The woman asked her, as if beckoning her over. Jessie made her way over to the car, the same colour as her own yet caked in dirt as if it had emerged up out of the sand.

“Jessie, how about you?” She replied. The woman had jumped up onto the bonnet now, sitting upon it like a kid.

“Where you heading?” she replied, avoiding the question. Though Jessie didn’t feel any danger, she didn’t want to tell anyone where she was headed. She knew once the world knew, it would throw up things to pull her back. Back to the life she never had wanted to live from the start.

“A long way away. Listen, if you do need any help, I’m happy to assist.” Jessie said, listening to the desert around them open to the twilight.

“You running away?” She asked suddenly.

“No.” Jessie replied defiantly. She saw something then flash in front of the woman’s eyes. The same defiance that twisted and churned in her own belly. “No. I’m making some changes for the better is all.” She added.

“What’s so bad that you’re leaving behind?” She asked.

“Urm…listen, if you don’t mind. I need to get going. So if you do need any help, please say.” Jessie said, politely but firmly. She was always one to go along with what people said and wanted, but she was indeed trying to make some changes in her life and now was a good time as any.

The woman cast her eyes down to the ground, while she toyed with the sunglasses she had in hand. As if finding what she was looking for there, she looked up at Jessie.

“Is it Jack?” The woman asked suddenly. Flaring her eyes. Jessie glared at her, not sure of what was happening.

“What?” she asked, a slither of understanding falling down from the sky.

“Or is it slowly seeing the dream you dreamt back when you were only twelve, wither and die like everything out here. Cooked and charred in the sun until it blows away into time?” She said.

Jessie stared at her, sensing something familiar. She looked at the car, the licence plate covered up in dust and dirt. She looked quickly into the passenger seat, spotting a duffle bag and vanity case.

Suddenly the woman jumped off of the bonnet and came towards her, grabbing her face and kissing her quickly on the mouth. Jessie couldn’t help it, but she closed her eyes; tasting the watermelon lips and feeling the hazy intensity. She pulled her in close, cocooning her away from the world in a moment where all made sense to her. Her mind flashed back to her old house, the smell of takeaways and the cheap cologne.

They parted as suddenly as they begun, Jessie knew then what she needed to do. She dropped to the floor and grabbed the largest stone she could find. Picking it up, she launched it over and over again into the woman’s skull, battering her down into a scarlet pulp that matched the inappropriate dress she was wearing. She threw the rock off into the buses near to where the other car was parked and then returned to her own. Her hands were shaking, and blood smeared onto the steering wheel as she turned it around and sped off back towards the main road. As she glanced in her rear-view mirror, she noticed the headlights of the other car had faded, snubbed out like the life of the woman who now lay in the dirt, beaten and crumpled and gone from this world.

When Jessie got to the main road, she turned right, accelerating hard into the direction she had been heading before.

After a few miles, the blood on the steering wheel had faded away and her breathing had now returned to normal. She reached over to her own small bag she had on the front seat and took out her lipstick. She smeared the scarlet shade across her lips, puckering in the mirror as she sped off into the night. Determined more than ever to get away, and to get to the place she had planned to in her dreams for years. Not looking back once.

Shift kiss

Take your hand off your eyes. See the sky above ignite.
Do not fall down into that soily grave alone.
Holding the hands of no-one.
Let the universe pulse in your veins.
Feel a fresh kiss of heroin as you save a life.
Save your own.
Communicate and reverberate this feeling.
Coursing and freewheeling.
Tumbling off of each kiss you give.
Each smile that slips into the dark.
To light the shadows like roman candles.
Let your galaxy slide into view.
Forget the hue of distrust and knee jerk distaste.
Taste me now. Let me in.
Strip way that cotton shell you’re living in.
Drink. Dive. Repeat.
Do not even give it a name.
Feel the ebb and flow as the old world shatters.
Sink into a sunbeam, radiating a love for everyone.
A neighbour, a lover.
A god in another skin.
Look within.

Following the flotsam

Twilight dances, the wild alive and static.
Fingertips on edge, itching for the sun.
A tantric lullaby to soothe and comatose.
Sing me to sleep with oceanic melodies.
Ones you found in those subterranean caverns.
Notes glide like crests of waves.
Kissing my brain.
Stealing my tremor urge of feet wandering.
Making for the door.
I sailed around the sky, and anchored to your heart.
Searching for myself, yet finding you at the ends of the earth.
Careful not to fall.
To plummet into my own destruction.
Cursing blindly at them all that the world is flat.
While you slip inside and spin my rhythm.
Pushing me off the horizon.
And sailing to the stars.

Gossamer touches

Feeling the space, breathing upon a windowpane of pleasure.
Your lips, only an exhale away.
Trapped in a falling dream on golden gossamer thread.
Sticking to me like a forgotten memory.
Lost in the centre of your eyes.
Rush warm sensation.
Mouths intertwined.
A lover’s reflection.
Strung up like dew in the morning light.
Melt me into sunshine with a touch of your skin.
Breathe from within.
Slipping out of my soul while you sleep.
To kneel before the creator, and thank him for your existence.
Here on earth. Here next to me.
Underneath my skin and painting pictures in my mind.
A masterpiece, dripped on a canvas threaded with our DNA.
The brush strokes of the age. The hand of God, guiding our bones.
As we tread through our museum of moments.
We, the only tourist in our time; seeking grand adventure.
Purposely getting lost.

Unconditional elation

Scary tales that suffocate. Around and around they incubate.
A seismic chorus and ring.
Drop your emotions like a wilting flower.
A deep dark blue that stains my veins.
Talk me into heaven. Slip me in hell.
The beautiful sinner within you dissolves in my mouth.
Suspension with such suspense. Blinking out words that irritate.
Scratch on my mind like an itch on the back of my throat.
Your inky blue soul, a rip tide of delight.
Encasing me once more in a silken cathedral of skin.
Let me pray.
On my knees.
Waiting for the holy water to come.

Sacred sinners

On a night like this, as the clouds cover the moon.
Or is it your hand reaching up to the sky?
Reaching towards heaven, trying to pull over the milky way.
Your feet stick into the mud of our circumstance.
Arms tarred and feathered like mine.
Your lips have known a thousand others.
Tasted a million other apples.
Lucifer in my hands, yet the Satan in my heart.
A name chained in irons and weighed down with history.
Yet to my eyes you are future, dipped in stars & the clouds you fell through.
They nailed me to the tree, they never knew love.
Letting me bleed out until the oil fell forth.
You cut me down and you hold me now.
Kissing the scars, wiping away the ink that burned.
I clip my wings and lay you in your my feathers and down.
Feeling my saliva sizzle on your skin.
Let us pull the soil over us and sleep forever in our own Eden.
Lucifer and Jesus, locked in eternity; or as long as the world rotates.
Orbiting the sun, and listening to the solar system.
Hiding from God.

You

There’s no more sadness behind these eyes.
You licked them away in the night.
Banishing the shadows of things.
Hunted them down like game.
You love me all the same.
Your lips encapsulate and intensify.
Securing me like an air lock.
Breathing life into my world.
And now I see inside.
A million stars like a sea of diamonds.
Traveling their way to your titanium heart.
One I’m welcomed into on my boat made of truths.
Thick like reeds, and just as sturdy.
You.
You are the one. The one I call home.
A mirror image of all I wish to be.
Strung out and up within me.
And we kiss, and you send me under.
Down, covered in mother of pearl and oceanic sound.
To lie with you on the star strewn ocean floor of eternity.
You.
Forever you.

Scorch

That first emotion that we both betrayed.
Tasting dangling carrots.
Asking for god to let us both in.
Kick this cart and tear the hide.
Let me see you swimming in the night.
In the dark, all cats look grey; and you take me there.
Push me under, watch me sway.
This magnitude, did you invoke or ask for?
Shake my resolve once more to this core.
Dipping me quick, with a turpentine kiss.
Lighting you match, and set my soul on fire.
You know where it burns.
Sizzling in my oceanic heart. Like sulphur from the breath of Lucifer.
Yet you roll me over. Again and again.
Till my teeth ache and drop to the floor.
And my mind blisters.
And the lust festers.
And the earth did open and swallow me whole.

Praesidium (me)

Here comes that prayer again, that plea into the heavens.
All because of that fall from grace.
The fall making me blind, forcing me to breathe underwater.
Ridden of all pathetic pleading.
Gone to tear this world down (though the best have tried).
These lungs fill with desperate needing.
As I drag behind you, watching you shake your head.
With a trigger happy mouth, ready to shoot me down.
Oh shoot me down in the sweet sublime.
Into the funk of another fall.
Breaking beds of pussy willows and clinging to another trick.
One to turn your head, or make you paralysed.
Your love, hidden by disguise as you pull the lever.
And swallow.

Water-fall-melt

You glide like a ghost, into dreams and into my arms.
I’ll be your moorlands, your Wuthering heights of safety.
Holding you down while your fears drift away.
Keeping the wolves at bay with my fox fighting.
The hunt of tooth and claw and self-preservation, partner protection.
Your hands find their way, around my back in into my heart.
Holding my breath, I keep my eyes close.
Waiting for the fall, waiting for the kiss to convince me it’s real.
It crashes into me like a waterfall, sending me tumbling into your deep blue waters.
Cleansed by the storm, purified by your kindness.
I cascade, crash, collapse into now.
Into this. Into you.
Shattering like stars in the water, sparks that sizzle and splutter.
Swimming in the sweetness of love.
No longer scared of fire
Shaking off my red fur, dripping into your soul.
Loving you for eternity

Honey

The gulf between us vanishes. The air hangs thick like and electric storm.
Your make me want to feel my way, as the thoughts inside me buzz.
Such busy busy bees.
My emotions undress and I bare my soul.
Come lick me, come kiss me.
One kiss and I’m under.
The fetter of your skin, the warmth of your embrace.
The toffee turns on a silky feeling that has dwelled so deep.
You unearth. Dig out.
Bring to the surface like a Titanic rising.
The discoverer in you.
Yet your eyes shine like a leviathan, threatening to pull me under.
Kiss me harder and suck the marrow from my bones.
Roll me in honey.
Crush each rib and the fear inside like splintered cartilage.
Sack my Carthage with the force of the Roman Empire.
Banish the darkness if only for an hour.
Fuck away these thoughts of yesterday.
The touch of your hand, the touch of tomorrow.
Sparks turning true blue and fluorescent.
Me. You. Drowning in honey.

Rooted

An infamous eponymous way of life, what will they remember?
Long after the ash has turned into nothing, sucked up into the atmosphere.
Breathed in by the moon.
We all return.
Will you find me, hidden under sleeping giants in the road or in the monsters belly?
Walking in a dream or cold in the bath.
How will you look when you feel I’m gone?
The pulse abandoned as your own quickens.
If you wished to join me, I’m sure there’s a plus one. Room for another.
But no, play on, plough through. I’ll readjust the spotlight.
What will become.
New arms to hold and new days to endure.
Or will we both disappear into that wormy ground of premature-ness and void.
Kiss me and let it all fall away.
Kiss me, I always felt safe with you in all this pain.
Rooted to the nothingness and all.
Back to where we belong.

The Salvation forest

This is what keeps me alive.
You drying on my skin.
Lobsters of the deep, snap memories for us to share.
For me to fish for.
Your tongue, a mind of its own.
I hope you don’t mind, that I describe you in such words.
But this is what I need. The photosynthesis of love from sadness.
Breathing deep in me, swelling my soul.
Your Picasso honey, sweet blues of strung moments to fix.
A thorn in my side and iron lung around my heart.
Feeling you on my fingertips, presenting such possibilities.
I have to kiss you.
Crawl into the space of your mind where the heart and head battle like warring gods.
Climbing mount Olympus, wax sticking, fear splitting into sweet tangible delight.
Strong roots that burst up toward the sky, like ghosts escaping a tomb.
Strange fruit that I hunger for, my teeth to bite into.
Finding your heart at the centre, I will kiss into recovery.
Restoring your pulse and transfusing our strength into something eternal.
Breathe.

Abstraction of forms

Suspended in the air, thoughts hang like Christmas decorations, all out of place in June.
Interchangeable. A word sticks out of the page and cuts my hand and my heart.
You saw it written across my face.
I cannot cry.
I deserve this, you deserve better. Remorse is a cheap substitute for something deeper.
Strip away my skin because I’m dying. Kiss me one last time and bury me deep in the ground.
Just don’t think it’s that easy.
I cannot lay there decomposing. A vampiric nature comes over me. I will rise up and seek out your love, pressing close to you to feel it beating within. Sensing it through every part of you.
Lost in regret.
If the stake in my heart needs to happen, let it be you. You fingers gripped to the hammer.
I’m trying to remember the feeling when the world stopped, and the night overcame me.
I will alter, I change. I will shift my very soul and re-arrange it all.
Seismic systems are swirling, about to reduce everything to rubble.
Do I renounce my love, can I give you up? I think not, so on goes the armour and out comes my heart.
Bones and dust may remain at the end but you, you’ll be high.
All out of reach. When things change, lights fade.

Remittance of the love that is lost to the ways of the world (part I)

You motioned for me to quietly enter the room. I could feel the tenseness of the air. The walls seemed to contract and wrap themselves around me. You sat there with no expression on your face. That face, the one I had touched so many times. Kissed it, smelt it, longed to be near enough I could count your eyelashes. Now it glared back at me like an empty pool. The lights began to flicker, stuttering out their watts in a rhythm I can only attune to the beat of your heart. The gun didn’t bother me, it was aimed at my head throughout but I knew this was all leading to something. The beginning of the end.

(I noted that it was aimed here and not my heart…maybe you’d finally figured out, there wasn’t one in this body of mine)

This part of the Jeykll and Hyde, this side of crazy. You asked me to sit down, the first time you’d spoken. Little daggers aimed at my ears, rushing with the blood and fresh thoughts to my head. You were so cordial, yet each word spat at me like kids on a council estate. I choose to stand, my one last defiance in our petty war. You told me there was something for me on the table, I looked down to see a wooden box. You told me to open it. This was not what I expected. Your look gave nothing away, nothing expect hurt burning from your eyes, and anger that could not by concealed. The box lay in a pool of blood, thick and viscous, floating on this horrific sea…..