While you were out

A kind word cupped in my hand like a wounded sparrow.
Its wing, contorted and bent like these preconceptions.
Without you, I move much too much at random.
Wondering what lies beyond those windowpanes.
Beyond the chasm that stretches in my mind.
I wonder where you’ll find me.
Dressed in my finery, like a made up lush.
Hoping for a dance.
Slathering my lips the darkest shade.
Horribly limited by my circumstance.
I count the colours that separate us now.
A warming tangerine smile that mocks and devours me.
With sharpened teeth I ready myself for the assault.
A swift attack on the loneliness that engulfs my saturated mind.
Soggy and heavy, absorbed of the dark walls that creep into my eyes.
As the scene rattles into view, I wake once more.
Peeled and unravelled, with the juice of reality staining my lips.

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Hold on to me

You’re the one who comes between us.
Coughing out your IQ, slipping your hand behind the couch of the night.
Leaving me always chocking on your haemoglobin.
Shooting to the sky, and yet careful not to fall.
My eyes are wide, yet they scarcely see you.
The black of loneliness that you leave me with. Weightless and bare.
In the dark, it all looks the same; until you set me on fire.
Warming your hands until I burn to a spark.
Killing me before I get too old.
These words from you are too vulgar, yet I say thank you.
Breathing them in and setting up homes for them inside of me.
Precious fragile fragments of attention.
Your racing heart surprises me, and brings me back; brings me down.
Simmering into something else.
I come back to you in pieces.
Littering your soul.
I know you want to stop.

Abstraction of forms

Suspended in the air, thoughts hang like Christmas decorations, all out of place in June.
Interchangeable. A word sticks out of the page and cuts my hand and my heart.
You saw it written across my face.
I cannot cry.
I deserve this, you deserve better. Remorse is a cheap substitute for something deeper.
Strip away my skin because I’m dying. Kiss me one last time and bury me deep in the ground.
Just don’t think it’s that easy.
I cannot lay there decomposing. A vampiric nature comes over me. I will rise up and seek out your love, pressing close to you to feel it beating within. Sensing it through every part of you.
Lost in regret.
If the stake in my heart needs to happen, let it be you. You fingers gripped to the hammer.
I’m trying to remember the feeling when the world stopped, and the night overcame me.
I will alter, I change. I will shift my very soul and re-arrange it all.
Seismic systems are swirling, about to reduce everything to rubble.
Do I renounce my love, can I give you up? I think not, so on goes the armour and out comes my heart.
Bones and dust may remain at the end but you, you’ll be high.
All out of reach. When things change, lights fade.