Scorch

This elliptical orbit that spins inside.
Gravitates to your inner moon.
A sea tide of the soul that shrinks in time.
In purpose.
My will.
A thousand suns of shame.
Burning away my eyes, to stop the tears.

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Dispatcher commands

Watch your dreams run for cover as the nightmares come.
Flowing in a stream of lightening and regret.
Cancelled out like an expired passport.
You fall on me.
Cling to the world I once promised.
Bow your head, and summon new reasons.
These demons, will whisper into your soul.
This pillar is now just sand, awash with a wave of tears; it crumbles.
Back into the iron sea.
Let go of my plane.
Let the time zones take me.
As the days slip away, and I fade into memory.
Adjusting sleep to sympathy and rhythms without you.
Turning away from that hemisphere and heartache.
To a place only I will ever know.

Beauty in the chaos

To catch your life in a dream or a swell.
Pulled by the lunar tide.
An electric blue that pushes through my veins.
This memory fuses and counteracts.
Seeped in the pressure and the pull of your eye.
Your storm that rages.
A beauty in such chaos.
Entering, as if on cue, your third act.
Gaining speed and precipitation.
I’m lost in the moment, catching debris in my heart.
Trying to keep you from peeking outside, out of this love.
Hiding the sunsets and sweet golden blue skies.
Do you remember you?
I ride out this terrible storm.
Promising salvation in these scared arms.
That bend and shake in the winds like the trees uprooted.
Running to the sea.
Thrown out of heaven.
Yet, I am still not afraid.

Instinct (feeling)

Illuminating, another dream. A waking life of happenstance.
Caught in your collapsing eyes, a scorched dream.
That empty coffee cup. That missed train.
Find me there.
Calling to you in a voice only God can hear.
The type of sound you can expect only at Christmas.
With choral tunes and awaiting disappointment.
Feelings. Stopped. Frozen for another time.
Frozen, in the summer rain that you hold me under.
I am the moth that flew back to the mountain.
The dragon under foot with a thorn in its side.
I am the love we had that fell into the ocean.
Lost forever in an indifferent tide.

Insipid

The world is bored with the grey on your eyelids.
Floating down to cover us in an avalanche of despair.
Those tearing blacks that rip through your eyes when they shut.
Filling your soul in the soup of soured dreams.
Stewed and stuffed in our age of apathy.
It grows weary.
It spins and turns over, melting the poles and freezing the pacific to see where the birds will fly to at winter.
Or if they fly at all.
Dizzied and covered in the flakes of sorrow you proffer.
Give us the rains. Ones to wash away the rainbow hue of a dream that never flew.
Take it from us like an ice cream from a child.
This notion of static. The none moving motion you freeze yourself in.
Cracked like the world’s crust, oozing like the yoke of birth.
Seal your eyelids with the starry saliva of the angels.
Who whisper times of change as they lick at your ear.

The Deep

Swim, with a mouthful of stars.
And kiss these lips underwater.
Pick a pearl that cloisters inside my mind.
Clutch it deep with your bones.
Washing over your heart.
Lining your veins in mother of pearl beauty.
Inside, all still wet and curious.
Like the seahorses that swim here in the shallows.
Your thoughts call to me like the sea inside a shell.
Echoing a world which wavers on the edge of temptation.
Suck the salt from my skin which slips over you.
Crush me in rapid waves of emotion.
As my fingers move to a new tide.
Parading across your body, wallowing in your deep.

Conflict(ed)

The ticking clock moves my bones.
Vibrating to a new chorus.
Such fear and bravery dogfight within.
Triggering the gunfire in my heart.
Bringing other humans to their knees, and staining my soul.
Cast out of Eden
Ordered here, directed there by badges that shimmered in the sorrow;
and a broken moral compass, scratched by time.
Left stranded out to sea.
Struck by the passing grief of that tide.
The one that washed over me.
Seeing death in the eyes of those all around.
Feeling hope strangled, feeling fear take hold.
Who really wins the fight, when we lose ourselves in the struggle?
Stretched and stricken, sunk by the force of your hate.
Every tear here brings the ocean higher.
With every cry, a family welcomes in a stranger.
A void, the blackness. The stories to tell a generation.
Of the great fight, that felt so wrong.

Coming up for air

What lurks beneath your feet, leagues under yet scratching at your back?
Tickling the spine that creaks and cracks.
Drop the things you can no longer carry.
Things to pull you under; the little things.
Tears for a lover lost in the spray.
That cling and pull like lead on your bones.
I tried to breathe under water.
Swimming to the ocean floor, and the depths of my mind.
Grew new skin. Housed within an Atlantis locked in time.
We allow others to wash upon other shores.
To dry in the sun like old bits of seaweed.
Crinkling and cracking as our hearts harden.
I see the sun now, twinkling in its majesty.
Blinking above like a solar eye winking, smiling once more.
Calling me up to the chorus and ring of tomorrow.
I need to come up for air.
To feel the sun and salt on my back again.
To cough out the poison of the deep.
Where nothing but leviathans and despair creep.
I hook a line into your heart, and pull out of the rip tide.
Pulled forth into the breaking waves of gracious adoration, deserving of a quiet day.
Out into the air and the salty miasma of an oceanic dream.
Effortlessly you appear, as I quietly transform.
My saviour in the eye of storm.

You stopped the rain

What becomes of all of us?
Down in the depths, floating on the sea of time.
Who pulls us back? Who throws the ropes of salvation?
She dwelled long and lonely under the waves.
Wrinkling into memory as the salt clogged her bones.
But the dreams wouldn’t fade like a dying star.
The hope threaded around her heart like roots of a tree.
New lips breathed the life back into her.
Tomorrow’s soul and eternity’s hand.
Raised her from her watery grave.
Covering her in love and picking away the scabs of sorrow.
She smiled and laughed as they ignited within the pilot fire.
Which shifted fate, and scared the fish.

Vanishing points appear

A black stream as long as the nightingale’s song.
Whose home has been rearranged?
Who swims now in the shallow?
Inside the pulsating pride of regret.
Choices on the riverbed, washed over in time.
Forget me nots falling out of love and out of the sky.
Catching you in spider webs and safety nets.
Nothing could save you from death.
From the doubt that you built as your shelter.
Smashed by the rains of immortality.
How could your soul grow in unhealed hands?
Pebbled and black like the stream that forever flows.
Around the bend, leading to a sea.
Trickling into time.

Halfway there

Simple words have a lot to say.
Like the break between heartbeats.
Like waves hitting the sand.
To swim or drown in your fiery light.
You cover your eyes with intent. Stealing the beauty away.
Keep us trapped.
Keep us safe.
Locked into your skin like DNA.
Longing after life’s mystery.
Build the pyre from your bones and burn me inside out.
Collapse into your cells.
Tasting sweat and love with each gulp of air.
Here is where I want to end.

Fault line

Splinters, tiny like veins in ice.
Creaking and cracking across my horizon.
To separate and crumble, down into the abyss.
Laying cold and motionless on the ocean floor.
The day the sunlight faded, dissolved into grey and boxed away.
A fault line, hidden underfoot. Covered by history and ignorance of the contented.
The earth did shake and quake, and the heavens above did tremble.
Collapsing time and rushing into the static notion of now.
Will you find me covered in shells?
Petrified and turning to oil before your eyes?
Dig away these bones all hollowed like the tooth of time.
Riddle with corrosion like a pickled heart in a jar.
The faults within took hold of me.
Crashed my soul against the tidal wall of life.
Broke the sins that were carried heavily on my back.
Dragged back to the moon on the ocean tide.

Erode the ruin

 

The sea was lapping at her feet now, the cold water slithering underneath her toes as the sand pulled away beneath her as the water receded. The waves were small and calm, placid like the mood she was in. It always calmed her coming here, walking down the perilous path that led from rocky outcrop at the top of the cliff. To her they were cliffs at least. Vast walls of rock keeping the sea and the world at bay. White cliffs that crumbled and creaked like the teeth of a slumbering giant.

She watched the little boat off in the distance, floating over the horizon; bobbing on the waves. Wondering what it would be like to be on that tiny vessel. Off to an unknown destination, casting her troubles and life overboard and setting off to the ends of the earth. Her dress flickered as the breeze blew in from the south, a small bit of spray spat at the bottom of the dress, marking her as an object of the ocean. Marking its territory. But she would not be owned, at least never again. She pulled at the flowers in her hand, twisting out the mauve petals from the peony bunch she loosely held in her hands. She squeezed one of them, bruising the skin and releasing a tiny bit of moisture which escaped into the salty air.

She came here for the silence and the solitude, but today she was haunted by the voices. The ghosts of those she knew that had followed her down the tumbling cliffs. They squawked and chattered, soliciting opinions and throwing comments like pebbles into the sea. She closed her eyes, but the sounds increased, twitterings of things she never asked to hear. She would never truly be alone, though it was the paradox of her desire. A wondrous dream that she chased, yet frightful of ever attaining it. Like chasing rainbows, she always came up empty yet surrounded with the multitude of others. Life dripping over her.

Dropping the flowers into the water, she watched as they descended in slow motion. The little helpers she took earlier we beginning to swim their own synchronised dance in her head now. The flowers separated like divorcing couples, sticking to each other while parts seemed to drift away with the tide. From the shore, she would have received respectful stares from passers by. Considerate looks for a soul caught up in a difficult moment, perhaps saying goodbye to a loved, one or remembering a time or a moment in life that had gone, corroded away into space like the rocks on the cliff. But she wasn’t saying goodbye, or thinking about anyone she loved. She was thinking only about herself, and how to unfix herself from the web she felt caught in.

She lifted her feet out of the sand, kicking off some seaweed which had begun to coil around her leg like a snake from the shallows. She looked back to the shore, the virgin sand glistened back at her, untouched today by those who sought out places to oil and tan themselves in the tangerine sun. She loved this place for that reason, that it was a quiet slither of the world that was her own.

Pulling the plaster off her arm, she folded it twice and popped it into her pocket. She pushed the hair back out of her eyes, securing it behind her ears while she squinted off into the distance. The boat she had seen was much further away now, battling the stronger currents she knew lay towards that area of sea. She looked at her watched, but realised she had taken it off earlier. She had left it on her bedside table. A tiny rebellious act, not to be controlled by time, or space, or matter. She had kept the ring on though, she twisted it now on her finger feeling the cool metal slide back and forth.

Some of the petals licked at her legs now, the approaching tide giving them free movement. One sloshed up her leg, sticking to it like a barnacle on a ship. She folded her arms and began to walk, slowly but determinedly into the sea.

 

The bones of your universe

Trace these emotions across my skin.
Dipping into the sea of unsettlement.
Each grain of sand a product of when our souls smashed together.
I let the tide of you wash over me.
Pulling me up towards the stars, and around the moon.
A constant constellation of the uncontrolled.
Rhythmically timed to your orbit.
Should I lay back? Should I cry out?
Let the stars now wash over me.
Gripped in your galaxy once more.
Drowning in perfection, holding on for the ride.

Following the flotsam

Twilight dances, the wild alive and static.
Fingertips on edge, itching for the sun.
A tantric lullaby to soothe and comatose.
Sing me to sleep with oceanic melodies.
Ones you found in those subterranean caverns.
Notes glide like crests of waves.
Kissing my brain.
Stealing my tremor urge of feet wandering.
Making for the door.
I sailed around the sky, and anchored to your heart.
Searching for myself, yet finding you at the ends of the earth.
Careful not to fall.
To plummet into my own destruction.
Cursing blindly at them all that the world is flat.
While you slip inside and spin my rhythm.
Pushing me off the horizon.
And sailing to the stars.

Keeping the skeletons subdued

Once, when it was too late.
They slipped in to carry our innocence away.
Stealing our tomorrows with sacks on their backs.
They told us to go west to paradise.
Look up, and think of eucalyptus.
Not these pale blue eyes that drag you to the ocean floor.
A watered grave where your dreams erode like a pebble on the riverbed.
Dressed us in sweet words as they stripped our skin.
Wiping away everything. No fingerprints on our souls.
That great American hero. That angel in the night with the candle burning.
They kept the strings pulled tight.
Bunched and preened us.
Our daffodil heads blobbing in the winds of subjugation.
They touched us deep and unwelcomed.
Feeling up our virtue like a priest would.
Filthy fingers around our bones and hearts.
Stunted our growth.
Licked at us with arthritic tongues, soaking us with erosive saliva.
They hold us still, keeping us in the storm.
As the nightmare rages on.

I dare not touch, a hair upon your head.
Your skin that falls like rain.
Into my arms I dream you would tumble.
Kissing your lips that welcome me like a traveller’s light.
Burning out of the darkness.
Threatening sweet cherry deliverance.
I would peal back your skull and dive into that sea of thoughts.
Swimming with you, hand in hand on a celestial ocean of knowing.
To know you. To touch you.
To take the pain you feel, and burn it within my own bones.
I place this pedestal only for you.
Keeping you safe and aloft, closer to the heavens.
Where you belong.

Morning song

That vibration I feel in my bones.
Shaking out of DNA. Stripping away my skin.
I know it’s her.
Playing that moodful sound of solitude.
Tickling the ivories of my skull.
I know where to find her, she never leaves.
In the space I’ve carved out for her to haunt.
Floating on the tide of my mind.
But she is more than just music or itching beauty.
She resides as always under my skin, deep in my soul.
Playing with magic and the mucus of change.
A star shaped heart, orbiting my lust.
Little by little, she separates my sadness to dust.

You

There’s no more sadness behind these eyes.
You licked them away in the night.
Banishing the shadows of things.
Hunted them down like game.
You love me all the same.
Your lips encapsulate and intensify.
Securing me like an air lock.
Breathing life into my world.
And now I see inside.
A million stars like a sea of diamonds.
Traveling their way to your titanium heart.
One I’m welcomed into on my boat made of truths.
Thick like reeds, and just as sturdy.
You.
You are the one. The one I call home.
A mirror image of all I wish to be.
Strung out and up within me.
And we kiss, and you send me under.
Down, covered in mother of pearl and oceanic sound.
To lie with you on the star strewn ocean floor of eternity.
You.
Forever you.

Where do you go?

When this world takes over me.
Smoking stars and twilight.
This impossible process of living.
Breathing each time the same.
Where do you go to?
Down into the ground with the bones.
Up to the sky with the feathers.
Swimming for now in this sea of uncertainty.
Where do I find you when I need that earthy voice?
That stone rooted soul that flicks away the flies of remorse.
Seek and thee shall find, but you are absent in this moment.
Gone away with the fairies as I relapse into tinkerbell tendencies.
I will find you there, I swear.
Caught between the tide and heaven.
Sailing our love to the ends of the world.
You be the captain.
And we’ll be forever saved.
Drifting on the tide around Saturn.

THE FIREFLIES

‘The fireflies will take you there.’

She heard the voice, strong and determined through the muddling noise of her day. It had travelled with her since she’d left her house that morning, echoes on the wind and fingers on the back of her neck.

“Stop that now please.” She said, startling an old lady passing her by. She turned away and hurried up the street, mindful of the ice on the path. The first big winter frost had settled in the night, and the overcast clouds threatened a grey and cold day ahead.

‘Come listen….’

That voice again, buzzing around her head like real fireflies. She stopped in the middle of the path outside a small coffee shop. Her warm breath exhaling in mist around in her in the coldness of the morning.

“I mean it.” she said, though there was no malice in her voice. She turned abruptly, and entered the small shop which was partially filled with people eager for their coffees on their way to work. She stood looking up at the board, her mind in two places. She looked at her watch and realised she was late for her interview. Time for a coffee at least, I’m only human she thought. She approached the counter, smiling at the man behind it; all smiles and eager to take her order. There was suddenly a huge creaking sound as if something were breaking. She looked up to find the entire roof being pulled back, opening like a can of beans.

She gasped as the seams of the room dripped in a starry gold dust, exposing the sky above them. But it was not the bleak winter clouds that she had seen outside, but a glorious sun baked blue haze smiling at her through the opening above. She staggered back from the counter, knocking into the person behind.

“Hey, watch it.” He said, unimpressed with her foot landing on his shoe, and clearly apathetic to the sight of the roof now missing above their heads. She glanced around her, the whole shop casting their confused eyes on her and not the sight above her heads.

“What? Oh Sorry!” she mumbled before flying out of the shop, letting the door smash behind her.

Out into the cold and muddling crowd, she tried to catch her breath. That was a new one she thought as she glanced back inside, watching as the people careful sipped their coffees as their own little world’s continued to turn. She felt their eyes on her still, so she moved off down the road in the same direction she had come.

“The fireflies are waiting.” She heard once more in her ears. Quietly this time, like whispers of a ghost. She shook this off and hurried quicker, making her way as fast as she could back to her apartment.

Inside she locked the door forcefully, though she knew nothing from outside was the problem. She turned around and with a flash of light the floor beneath was transformed into sand. The apartment dripped away, with a sea lapping the shore where her sofa used to be. The sky above exploded in a million sparks as if the stars were coming down from the sky. Fireflies buzzed around her, tingling her skin and whispering in her ear.

“Heena booraa, conallou.” They sung.

She smiled, she couldn’t help herself. The beach at night beneath her feet, the smell of the sea on the breeze that flowed so softly and silently down into her lungs. She walked forward and dipped her toe into the sea, her black work shoes finding a bit of sea foam on the end like a tuft of snow. She dropped her bag on the sand and walked along the beach until she walked into something hard with a loud thump.

“Ow!” she said aloud to the empty apartment which had now appeared in its headache haze around her. She rubbed her head where it had bumped, and sighed. A long deep-felt sigh that weighted with realisation and defeat. She steadied herself by putting her hand against the wall, thankful momentarily it hadn’t turned into a palm tree.

“Come back to us Stacey. We are waiting.” She heard quietly, whispered around her empty apartment.

Her mobile phone broke the silence, echoing from her bag that she had dumped on the floor. She wondered for a second whether to answer it, then quickly found her way to the bag; brushing off the sand on the bottom and retrieved the irritating device from within.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Miss Adams? I’m calling from Stacks Global.” The shrill voice called out from down the line.

“Oh, yes this is she.”

“Well Miss. Adams. We were expecting you promptly for an interview this morning.” The voice stated, hovering in an expectational way.

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry I’ve had a few problems getting in this morning.” Stacey said, noticing now the curtains beginning to shimmer with the gold dust she’d seen before. The woman on the line made a disgruntled snort as if she’d heard nothing so preposterous in her life.

“Miss. Adams, I needn’t tell you what a reputable company we have here. We don’t give interviews her needlessly to fill our time. You are making a very bad first impression and I must stress…” But Stacey cut her off.

“Okay, thanks then. Have a good day”. She said and hung up the phone, placing it on the sideboard. She stood there, no longer in a daze but with a twinkle of determination in her eyes.

“Okay. Okay. I’m coming. I’m sorry it took so long. Hana lowlalei.” And she made a circle with her hands in the air. The ground shock for a second and room burst with a flash of light, raining sparks all around her. She smiled once more and walked across the room to find her laptop. Still with her coat on she logged in, finding the cheap website for flights she had used before. Using her credit card she booked herself a ticket, first class none stop. And only one way.

 

Pieces of time

Have you seen?
Have you seen this life we lead?
Fragments of space locked in time.
I stand on this beach, with each grain beneath my feet.
Ground down from rocks and God grinding his teeth.
This sea has washed a thousand shores.
These tears have dried a million times before.
Did I miss something? The big reveal?
My hands are empty as I forget how this felt.
Closing my eyes I feel it wash over me.
These pieces of time we cling to like driftwood.
Was I wrong to run? Or weak to stay?
(I don’t know so please don’t answer)
I cling faster now, each splinter a memory driving its way to my heart.
You can find me here, holding your hand.
Encircling this moment I wish to stretch out for eternity.
Don’t pity me, I can see that in your eyes.
Let us disappear and fall once again into your own jealousy.
Leapfrogging to another piece of your own space and time.
Alone again.
We watch as the beach rises and the moon turns over.
Capturing us forever in this bottle on the sand.

Dirt

Down the garden, over the wall.
Quick like a cat, careful not to fall.
Into the dirt Toby dug.
His nails all black, his fingers snug.
With haste and intent the rocks were hurled.
Over his shoulder, out of this world.
He dug fast and deep, it had to be.
As wide as the ocean, as deep as the sea.
For into the bottom he placed his treasure.
And though he felt safe, he took no pleasure.
To fill in that hole, and cover for a lifetime.
This was a precaution, his own tiny lifeline.
For it wasn’t gold, or silver he hid.
It was something most precious he wanted protected.
For down in the ground by the worms was his heart.
Before it got stolen. Before it all fell apart.