Digested by God (love tasted)

Called down by the black crows.
The end unravelling from the start.
But there is no need to fear.
All these pieces of such a life, twinkling like a magpie prize.
Caught in the claws and clutches of another.
Keep an eye on the rising waters that swallow your bones.
Fusing the soul back to the heavens.
Late again for your own funeral, but god forgives you.
The retreat back into the mind, the swirling birds that will meet you by the devil’s eye.
Does it ever equal all the pain you’ve gone through?
What happens when the anger and love show?
Collected and dispensed like feathers on the wind.
A bird in the hand.
The ache in the bush, twisting in the fingers of fate.
Soaking wet, and restless. Flying south for the eternal winter.
Six feet of soil and sadness.
Buried like treasure and the troubled heart.
But you don’t get to go yet.

Dirt

Down the garden, over the wall.
Quick like a cat, careful not to fall.
Into the dirt Toby dug.
His nails all black, his fingers snug.
With haste and intent the rocks were hurled.
Over his shoulder, out of this world.
He dug fast and deep, it had to be.
As wide as the ocean, as deep as the sea.
For into the bottom he placed his treasure.
And though he felt safe, he took no pleasure.
To fill in that hole, and cover for a lifetime.
This was a precaution, his own tiny lifeline.
For it wasn’t gold, or silver he hid.
It was something most precious he wanted protected.
For down in the ground by the worms was his heart.
Before it got stolen. Before it all fell apart.

Offer

Inside my hands, gold and diamonds sparkle.
Their shine fades in your eyes.
Reduced to lead and coal.
Out of my tongue sweet words trickle.
Caught up with cotton candy and sincerity.
Such bitter tastes to your ears.
I offer my heart, the most valued treasure.
And all you see is an organ of despair.
Sounding such sombre music.
With its dying rasps.
Yet still you owe me nothing in return.

Sticky

Soft words like snow in my ear.
Slither into my soul.
Fill me up like honey.
Hold me like a precious treasure.
Keep me safe.
Scrub away those unloves.
The scabs of hurt that taste so bitter.
Count my eyelashes in time to my heartbeat.
Wait for it to skip.
Count me down.
Preserved now forever in your tarred soul.
Stuck like chewing gum to the underside of your heart.

Ash in my mouth

I always run back to you, with my eyes closed.
Remembering the weight of it all.
Your bones in my arms.
A soul wanting to fly.
Your lips find mine and cigarettes singe my soul.
Leaving ash in my mouth.
These dark halls you make me roam, tiptoeing in silence.
Grow narrow and constricting.
Like the love you throw around me.
Circling like smoke.
Falling apart, and left in the cold. Lonely on the filthy streets.
You are the gold that flashes. The carat on the stick I follow.
But you bleed me out.
Gold rushing my love, sieving out the treasure.
(Don’t touch what you can’t afford).
Throwing away my faltering acrobatic anxieties.
Cutting the colours out. Dying them black.
You ask me to fill myself up, with something else.
Something less substantial. The silver of souls.
The tobacco stained parts you give so easily.
That fill me with tar, and are weighing me down.
Sinking into the ocean of you to drown.
Sunken but unique.

Gold

I knew you were out there, waiting for me.
Too long have I sat here like a fool, waiting for the world to fall at my feet.
You sparkle and glitter. Midas in the moonlight.
I want you, I want you naked and dripping in gold.
To lick the metal from your pores.
Your precious wealth I humbly beg for.
You offer your heart like an apple to a maiden in the woods.
What price will I pay to handle you, to obtain the unobtainable.
To peak at you silver soul?
I can buy you you know, and hold you.
But I can’t make you do what you don’t want to.
You’re to have, not to hold.

Apologetic time travel

Into your eyes I shall remain.
Above my head the light begins to shine. Don’t start believing.
Don’t start believing the lies.
Conversations over space, yelling into different galaxies.
Hoping to come down, to descend into this one.
Did I lie to you, I ask my younger self?
You hold your heart so close, secret and safe.
A wonderful treasure for someone to discover.
Water in the desert, light for those in the dark.
Give yourself to me. Completely.
You rest your hand in my own outstretched, and I pull you into the future.
Ideals of youth, questions on your tongue with such energy and promise.
And you see what there is here, what I am now.
Yet I feel so sad. I must say to you: I’m doing my best.